Vintage SLY: Scars and Healing

Originally written January 23, 2006

Can you remember remembering but not know or recall the memory? I used to have a scar of an entire iron on my left leg. It wasn’t a raised scar or distortion of skin but just a dark imprint or shading of an iron…with the spacing of where the steam comes out. I know I was little and I was playing by the irn and it fell right on my leg, burning hot. Little girl Sheena, three or four with a cast on.

Now I don’t remember the actual event. But I’ve always remembered the scar which has led to the story. I guess when it happened and people asked why the scar, I could say, “The other day, I burned myself with an iron.” And then it became last week. Last Month. Last year. When I was younger.

Now I don’t remember the exact age. And I don’t remember the actual event but I remember the story of the even and if I ever doubted it, there was always the scar.

At twenty-one, after years in the sun and body changes and whatnot, the scar is completely gone. You would never know that years ago the entire imprint of an iron was on my left leg. But it was. Maybe if you look closely in pictures, you can see the dark shading.

But it does make the story harder to tell or harder to convince the audience of the severity and seriousness of the matter when you no longer bare the scars. Can you really feel my pain without seeing the scar.

What if I’m scared to heal in other ways because eventually the story will lost its momentum? Does fully healing mean I lose the story? Do I lose the moment when the scars fade away? Does it make it harder for people to get it?