Happy Birthday Lola

by SLY on May 7th, 2010

Today is the birthday of one of my closest, dearest friends, LOLA.

I met Lola during my senior year of highschool. We were both visiting Wheaton College for the weekend as part of their process for onboarding freshman. The first time Lola and I met each other, we hoped that we’d never see each other again. I can’t remember why. I remember that I didn’t like that she listened to R. Kelly. I couldn’t stand that she was always late for EVERYTHING. And Lola was VERY VERY LOUD! I can’t remember what she didn’t like about me.

However months later when we started our first day of college in 2001, I caught a glimpse of her in a stairway. I didn’t know anyone else at this new college. Her face was the only familar thing. “Hey,” I said. She smiled. I smiled. And you know, the rest is history.

Lola and I have not had the easiest friendship. We actually went about two years without speaking to each other. The reasons for that break in our friendship are silly and don’t even matter. (Which reminds me, read The Myth of You and Me and it will make you think about all those broken friendships.)

We’ve gone through a lot. My freshman year I got into a cheerleading accident and ended up in a wheelchair. Lola basically moved into my dorm room. She woke me up every four hours to make me take my medicine. She wheeled me around campus to all my classes. She made sure I ate. When she was busy, she coordinated with all of our other friends to make sure someone was always with me. To this day when I think about how she took care of me, I am forever grateful!

I was able to attempt to return the favor a year later when Lola was in a bad car crash. It was during a school break and we had gone back to MN to stay with her family. Lola was in a crash and pretty banged up and high on medicine..and she had just had her wisdom teeth removed, so I took care of her as best I could. I remember right after the crash, helping her sisters take Lola to the shower as we took pieces of glass out of her hair.

My entire freshman year was laced with Lola. Just about every memory that I can think of includes Lola and or James F. Pyles. Lola was actually the first person to know I had a crush on Pyles before I could even admit it to myself. Lola was with me when my mother met Pyles. Lola is the one who took the picture that I keep on display of Pyles and I.

And I was the one who told Lola about James’s death. I didn’t know it at the time. Lola and I were working on mending our broken friendship and I sent her an email that said something like, “None of the petty stuff even matters. Especially in light of James Pyles’s death….”

I had no clue she didn’t know of his death yet. I wouldn’t have written about it so carelessly. And perhaps that was finally the thing that brought Lola and I together again. I have no clue.

Since our graduation our friendship has grown. First we spent a year clubbing and dancing together. I think we left our mark on the Chicago night scene and no one will be able to ever top us. We have shared so many meals, so many tears and laughter. So many conversations. So many secrets. I mean, Lola knows things about me that no one else knows. And even still, she calls me her friend.

Really, there isn’t a known language that could express how much she means to me, how big of an impact she has had on my life and how must I love her! She’s like a sister to me. Which by proxy means that her other sisters are my sisters too. Which is good because they are just as cool as her.

Olajoke

Olapeju

Lola, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for your raw-ness, you attitude, your honesty and your spice. Thank you for your laughter, your silliness and your love. I am so grateful that you have seen me at my worse and yet you still call me a friend. I am glad that years ago we were able to find each other again and from that build such a beautiful friendship.

You are a wonderful, beautiful, lovely, creative woman. I have always admired the free-ness with which you carry yourself. I love how bold you are and how even though you’ve had a lot of difficult things happen, you have dealt with them with dignity, grace and a beautiful rage.

You are so great. So powerful. You are truly a goddess and a warrior and I look forward to your growth in life.