An Open Letter to the Dead ~ Tinuola Olateju

by SLY on June 30th, 2010

One Month.

Really?

One month ago and you were texting your sister, being silly with your brother, spending time with your friends. In one moment you are here and in the next you are not. How easy it is to just be gone in a flash.

Now you are here and now you are not.

This concept is crazy to me. One moment someone loves you. One moment they do not. One moment you are on top of the world and one moment you are trying to escape hell. One moment you are living in peaceful times. And then in one moment warfare has broken out and you’ve lost a leg.

Being that in any given moment life can drastically change, the present moment must be treated as holy.

I’ve been reading two books lately and they have helped me immensely in healing myself. “The Healing Wisdom of Africa: Finding Life’s Purpose throug Nature, Ritual and Community” by Malidoma Patrice Some and “Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior” by Chogyam Trungpa

I’ve been trying to find a different perspective to have in regards to your death. The first is just utter sadness. I just feel so sad and my heart is so tender. I tell myself to acknowledge the pain. I can’t let it cripple me. I can’t avoid it. I can’t go around it. I have to go through it.

Instead of crying in a fetal position all day, I tell myself to summon your spirit, channel your essence. I tell myself to be grateful for what I experienced with you before and for the ways I experience you now.

I remind myself to fully appreciate who I am. To know my worth and to know the worth of the person next to me and to treat them as such. I feel like if I know my worth there is no way I can give in to my depressive tendencies. There is no way I can mis manage my money or eat at McDonald’s. If I know my worth and embrace it, there is no way I can harm myself. The same applies for those I encounter. If I treat them as the good and beautiful people they are, there is no way to mistreat them. And perhaps in this we can prevent the death of our culture and suicides of our youth.

While it was under horrific circumstances, I am grateful for how this has brought me closer to Lola, Peju, Joke, Sunday, Kola, Sola and Wale. There is a bond that was forged in blood, tears and bits of our soul and it keeps us tight and connected. It keeps me here.

That is what I tell myself one month to the day. That I am here. Therefore I should be here, fully present, fully engage. I should return to center, clear my mind and treat every person, every interaction, everything with intention.

We Must Love or Die.

There is no other choice.

Tinuola Olateju