I find that I can not even write about today’s events just yet. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be emotionally ready to recount what happened from the rental car being broken into, to going into the house for the first time with Lola since we arrived in Minnesota, to having some hard discussions with Lola, to making our list of things to do for the funeral, to delayed flights and hotel rooms left open by housekeepers. It has been a long day folks. And the small group of us surrounding Lola, we are emotionally drained. We are tired. We are frazzled. We are sad and we keep forgetting to eat.
I spoke with Mr. Officer today. (He’s the boyfriend of four years for those who do not know) And he emphasized that I needed to take care of me. “Go to starbucks. Take a long shower. Take care of you.” He kept emphasizing it. Actually, its 2am and I forgot to call him back. It was the first I’d heard his voice in a few days and it has been my saving grace. It energized and encouraged me. He’s so sensible. So wise. So very helpful in times like these. But I suppose it comes with the territory. He’s the real expert in grief and loss.
But tonight when we all gathered before bed we talked about the need to take care of us. To know our limits. To support and be here for one another but to also take a breather. It has been intense. So I’m going to go to bed and I will continue to keep you all posted on the goings on.
I hope this helps someone.
On a side note, I can’t remember the context of her confusion but Lola until a few days ago thought that the straw on the camels back was in regards to a drinking straw. When I explained what that metaphor really meant and we realized how off she was in her thinking, we all had ourselves a very good laugh.