You Will Find Rest for Your Weary Soul – Tinuola Olateju
I counted last night. It has been six months. I thought of so many things. I thought of Mr. Officer insisting that I and someone else see you first in the casket before the family. “What if something isn’t right? You don’t want that to be the last image they see. So someone else needs to go first and make sure every thing is the way it should be,” he said.
Nothing is as it should be.
I walked in with Wale. There was a twig on your dress. I asked him to move it. I didn’t understand why I was looking at your body. Why did you go away from here? What was your burden dear child?
My heart is heavy.
That is what I remembered yesterday. Walking in and making sure it would be ok for Lola to see.
This changed me Tinu. Things are constantly affecting me, enhancing me or altering just a bit of my prespective. But this changed me. A bit of my shape shifted. My heart hurts but it grew stronger. I suppose it takes a a great deal of will power and strength to work through this.
This has had ripple effects in my life.
I hold requiem for you. I celebrate you but I hold requiem for you. My soul holds a lament and there is no language on earth that could translate it into understanding.
I am sad Tinu. I am sad but I am ok.
February 15, 1995 – May 29, 2010
Facebook Group: In Loving Memory of Tinuola Olateju
Facebook Group: R.I.P Tinu
Relevant issues, sites, & topics….
Out of Darkness Overnight Walk
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
American Association for Suicidology
Suicide Awareness Voices Education
Suicide Prevention Resource Center
The Samaritans of NYC (Suicide Prevention)
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
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I feel your pain. I once had a friend at a young age committed suicide. She didn’t die immediately. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks. It was a most painful death. And to make matters worst, she really wanted to live. It sucks! It’s important for us to find strength in God when we feel like the world is against us. Thanks for sharing.