Rebuild Yourself ~ Jill

“I would believe only in a God that knows how to Dance.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


Last night on International Women’s Day, I along with four other ladies from my original Level One Class, completed Level Two in Sheila Kelley’s S Factor Feminine Movement and Pole Dancing class. There are a few others in the class too who are just as beautiful, fluid and amazing but I along with the four others have taken this journey together from the very beginning. We have been together for sixteen weeks and it has been life changing.


I’ve seen it in everyone. I’ve seen women who were ashamed to be alive, who were hurting and in pain, who were scared and worried burst through their skin with their soul and saunter across the floor. Our moves aren’t “perfect.” Sometimes we forget the choreography. Just yesterday for the life of me, I couldn’t manage to climb the pole when I know in another life I probably was a monkey. But despite the challenges, set backs and mistakes, we’ve pushed through and seen parts of ourselves we didn’t even know was there.

I had no idea how fun it was to dance in seven inch heels. Months ago, I hadn’t a clue what the “peter pan” “tinkerball” “snake” or “goddess rising” was. Now I find myself adding sultry movement to whatever I can. Even if I’m just walking down my hallway at home…sometimes I find myself emphasizing it with the S Walk.

The women in the class are amazing. Just when one of us might feel not good enough or unable to perform, you will hear a voice yell out in the dark, “You’re beautiful!” and you find you have the power, courage and strength to do it! One classmate, just last week brought gifts from The Body Shop and Sabon and passed them out to all of us. “I couldn’t do this without you all. You have helped me so much.”

So along with finding my sensual self again and exploring her various facets, I have found a sisterhood without judgement that screams just how gorgeous or wonderful I am every chance they get. That is what sets this class apart from many of the experiences in my life. I get to tap into myself, however she wants to reveal herself while taking that journey with some amazing sister S women. Week after week we come together. We strip off our suits and everything else that weighs us down. We put on lace and leather and little shorts. We turn down the lights, turn on the music and we cheer each other as our erotic creatures crawl out of us.

I hope you have a community of people in some area of your life that serves as encouragers, cheerleaders and an amazing support system. Yes, I have family, friends, and various groups that I belong to but I also have 5 to 8 sexy, half naked sisters in heels cheering me on every week! How awesome!


While our instructor worked with us one by one to snake on the pole (an inverted fun trick!)…she told us to practice and play with our various flying tricks as we waited. “Be sloppy!” she said showing us a messy but beautiful way to do the firefly. “Just play!” she exclaimed trying another spin. “Remember when you were little girls on the playground and you just had fun!” she said sauntering and skipping towards the pole, “Well now, we are women!!!! And we have BREAST. We have ASSES! We have CREDIT CARDS and jobs and degrees and we can do whatever we want! SO PLAY! The world is your playground now!”

We laughed and giggled as more self judgement and doubt melted away. And while I still couldn’t manage to climb the pole this week, I took the time to explore my walk and to play with my various flying tricks. I have no clue how I looked. I don’t know if I looked like a sex kitten or a fool but it doesn’t matter because I was committed. I FELT good doing it. Without the mirrors and with a lack of lighting, I just didn’t give a damn. I didn’t think, “Does this look right?” I just thought, “Where do my hands want to go now? Where is my breath right now? My god, this feels so amazing!”

I hope you have opportunities to play in your life!!! I hope you get chances to have complete free play without bright lights, mirrors and any distractions. Without those filters and creative blockers…just what is it that your soul and body wants to do?


During one of our various stretches near the beginning of class, I have heard Jill say on more than one occasion to, “ReBuild Yourself.” She means this literally. At that point we are sitting on the floor, legs spread out and we are folded over at the waist with a flat back and our arms are reaching out. Its a simple stretch you all have done before. Once we’ve explore the extent of that stretch, she tells us to slowly rebuild ourselves until we are sitting back up.

While she means it literally, every time I hear it, I take it as a chance to explore what that means for myself… spiritually, emotionally, physically, creatively, artistically, literally, soulfully and in any other way.

After I initially moved to New York, I became a bit complacent at times. While I was spoiled to have a personal trainer in Chicago who kept me at my best, I didn’t have that in New York. So I just stopped trying when it came to my physical health. After noticing changes in my body…loss of muscle tone, flexibility and stamina, I realized I couldn’t keep this up. I wasn’t ok with a lack in myself. Since taking S Factor along with a few other dance classes, I have rebuilt myself physically. Just a few days ago, a twitter follower asked, “Have you lost a lot of weight recently?” I couldn’t tell you whether I weigh more or less than I did six months ago but I know that my muscles are back. I know that for longer periods of time I can sustain the full weight of my body on a pole. I am stronger. I have physically rebuilt myself.

Along with the physical changes, I have rebuilt myself in other ways. While I’ve always been a confident person, over the past few months I’ve grown into it even more. I apologize less. I’m more comfortable with expressing what I want, especially in a sensual, relational and sexual manners. Emotionally, I have found a softness that wasn’t there before. Its key for me to remain emotionally balanced but in order to thrive in my emotional well being, I have to actually feel things. S Factor gives me room to explore my emotions. I have grown up emotionally and learned how to channel it into movement, into breathe and even into the way I take my shirt off.

My soul is well. At a time in my life when things are changing, when I’m rethinking my approach and shifting my focus, I have found that one thing that keeps me grounded, true to myself and giddy like a five year old on a playground is S Factor. I am more powerful, more amazing and even sexier than I have ever been in my life.

Just last weekend I was telling a friend about how I’m excited for future Sheena. If this is what its like and I’ve only been doing this for a few months, imagine me a year from now, five years from now…twenty years from now. Once we even had a 58 year old student in our class. She was by far the most beautiful woman I had seen. She danced so selfishly, gracefully and sensually. She took her time, took up space and let her body do whatever it was she felt like doing. While in the class, I was unable to see her face clearly. I assumed she was in her early twenties. It was only in the dressing room when I saw her clearly, that I realized she was much older than me. After hearing she was 58, I told her, “I want to be like you when I grow up!”

I can not wait to experience and be Sheena six months from now; one year from now and beyond. With S Factor on Tuesdays, future predictions are Hot and Steamy with a chance of Fire.

If you want a beautiful, sensual opportunity to explore your sexy side and rebuild yourself in ways you hadn’t imagine, consider taking a FREE Intro Class with S Factor. The only catch is that you must be local to the New York area. To find out more, check out this post –> Take Flight and Soar with S Factor NY.

Someone asked me if I was being compensated for the women taking this course. The answer is no. I’m not receiving points, free classes or eight inch S Factor heels for everyone that takes the Intro course. This is simply a wonderful offer S Factor has graciously given me the opportunity to share with others.


Sheila Kelley S Factor Review

The Siren Has Awoken

If You’re Sexy & You Know It, Clap Your Ass???

Do Everything Your Mama Told You Not to Do

S Factor: Level Two ~ Welcome Back SLY

photo credit 1: Lori Foxworthphoto credit 2 ~ photo credit 3

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Showing 5 comments
  • Jelena

    Dear Sheena,
    Somehow you menage to vocalize all the things that I feel and love about S factor. Thank you for that, because when I don’t know how to express my own feelings I use your words 😉
    Kisses and keep on with S

    Zagreb, Croatia

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