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Sunday, May 1st, 2011
Blogs | Sociology of Sheena
Lost ~ To Come To Be Without
My May monthly symbolism word is Lost.
(Lost. Losing. Lose. Loss.)
January’s monthly symbolism. –> Refine ~ A Process for Purification
February’s monthly symbolism. –> Movement ~ A Journey towards Center
March’s monthly symbolism. –> Imagine ~ Child Play for Adult Work
April’s monthly symbolisn. –> Steady ~ Not Easily Shaken or Stirred
May is full of wonderful things. I think its a beautiful time of the year filled with so much promise. My sister graduates from high school. My mother’s birthday is in May. Lola’s birthday is in May and so is Frank Maugeri’s. However, a quick history of my public writings in May yield a different perspective.
May 2010 – writings focused on lost love, healing due to a lost childhood and the loss of Maura.
May 2009 - writings focused on the loss of Maura.
May 2008 – writings are mainly nonexistent.
May 2007 – no writings exist.
May 2006 – writings focused on my “trial and errors” as it related to men with one post entitled, “I may hate myself in the morning.”
May 2005 – no writings exist.
May 2004 - no writings exist.
This is an interesting phenomena that I’ve just taken notice of in regards to myself and as I think on this month and what word I hope to embody & experience or what just sticks out and can’t be avoided, I am lead only to Tinu…which leads me to Maura and that leads me to James.
It is May 1st and I am thinking how in a few short weeks it will be the end of May. Last year Lola called me and things changed. Things changed when she told me we had lost Tinu.
I didn’t want the entire month to be filled with my sorrow and my grief. I don’t want to do that to my readers. I’ll leave that to my own personal book of mourning. But I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t acknowledge that LOSS plays a huge part of my history with May. Either I’m at a loss for words or I’m mourning the loss of someone or something. I will use the words interchangeably… lost, loss and lose and at times I may misuse them when I should have written the other. I will make no apologies.
A few [partial] definitions I came across.
LOSS: Something that is lost:
LOST: No longer possessed or retained. No longer to be found. Having gone astray or missed the way.
LOSE: To come to be without. To suffer the deprivation of.
There are other words that come to mind when thinking on LOST.
Displaced. Relinquish. Surrender. Adrift. Astray. At Sea. Fallen. Gone. Irretrievable. Vanished. Wayward. Without. Nowhere. Missing.
Due to my habit of being at a loss for words, I’ve created daily prompts regarding LOSS to aid in my writing. Those posts, which you will see everyday in addition to my other writings will be tagged under “At A Loss.” I suppose even though this month is about Tinu for me, I want to explore the range of loss. What are the things, moments and people that we lose? What are the effects of loss? Can we find joy in loss? Why do I have such a bad reaction to the words “relinquish” and “Surrender” as it relates to LOST. Hmmmmm. I’ll be exploring this, hoping to give form and focus to my grief. I’m hoping to find growth on the other side of this. We shall see.
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back ~ Barbara De Angelis
We lost because we told ourselves we lost. ~ Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
Every human being must find his own way to cope with sever loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he choose. ~ Caleb Carr
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey ~ Kenji Miyazawa
For some moments in life there are no words. ~ David Seltzer, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.