Needing It ~ S Factor

As mentioned in a previous post, one of my most recent assignments for my pole dancing class was to imagine myself 20 years in the future. I was to let that inspire my music choice, my costumes and perhaps even my movement. After struggling to find the perfect song that I felt really suited me, I was excited to try dancing to Bjork’s “Hyperballad.” It appeared to be the perfect fit.

By late afternoon, I had tried unsuccessfully over 50 times to download the song on my iPhone. No matter what I tried, it just wouldn’t download any music. I have never encountered this problem before. WHY WASN’T IT GIVING ME BJORK? As the day progressed,  I realized it wasn’t going to happen and I needed to find a different song for class. However on the train ride to class and once in the studio, I was drawing a blank. I even let classmates pick songs for me before the instructor arrived and still, nothing worked. The closer we got to the start of class, the more gloomier my disposition became. I didn’t even want to dance! I wanted to through a fit! I wanted what I wanted and nothing else!!!!

It was just eating at me. The fact that I’ve had my phone for years and today, once I found the most perfect song, it wouldn’t work. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I was frustrated and not in the mood! And being frustrated made me annoyed because I don’t like those emotions and it has no place in my S Factor classes. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Do you have moments like that? When you just can’t find the right song and you want to so bad? Or you want to  master that inversion and your body is absolutely refusing to do it? I was bubbling with agitation even though I knew I had to just let the shit go. Especially since most of the other women in the class hadn’t even prepared an assigned song. They were just gonna dance to what they wanted to BUT I WANTED BJORK!!!!!!!!

Class soon began. As mentioned, we warm up first for about forty five minutes. There’s always a variety of music during our warm ups, fast and slow, all different genres. It’s always the perfect blend that travels with us throughout our long warm up. The teacher hit play.

Bjork’s voice filled the room.

I almost broke down in tears.

She had no idea that I’d been throwing a pissy fit about wanting to dance to Bjork. She just walked into the room, greeted us all, changed her clothes and pushed play.

It was what I needed. I spent an entire day trying to make it work. I entered class frustrated and defeated. I did not want to move or dance or be sensual and without even knowing it, the instructor played Bjork.

It was just what I needed.

This isn’t the greatest issue in the world. There are wars going on and people starving, but this is also my life and what’s important to me at any given moment is what’s important to me. I needed something and it wasn’t happening. And without having to even say it, I got it. It wasn’t the same song but it was her voice and it soothed me. It calmed me. It worked miracles on my disposition and my breathing.

Later, as we transitions from our warm up into pole work, the instructor went over to select new music for this phase of class. “You know what, we’re going to play her again.” I heard her murmur. I didn’t know who “her” was since about 10+ songs had played already and many of them were women.

A song began and it was BJORK again!

I wanted to melt. I wanted to run and hug her and thank her for reading my mind! I was over the moon!

Later when it was time for me to dance, I choose Ben Harper’s rendition of “Sexual Healing.” I donned the New Years Eve dress and a suit jacket. I took care of my needs first and then I seduced the chair and the pole during my freestyle dance. I figured in 20 years I will be the best version of me yet and I’ll probably wear the New Years Eve dress to compliment my body and I’ll heal the world, one sensation at a time.

As the instructor gave me feedback on my dance, she was noted as saying, “Its a good thing we don’t allow nudity here. If you were at home, you’d be naked right now and he would too.”

Lessons Learned.

  1. Sometimes shit just isn’t going to work. Get over it.
  2. When you let go, you allow room for something else.
  3. At times, we you don’t expect it, magic happens and the universe participates.
  4. I think my teacher is psychic. 🙂

(I write about S Factor A LOT. Just click the “sexuality” or “dancer” tab to the right to read them all. The most recent post was “Jungle Gym to Self Love” and “Set Your Soul Ablaze.” ~ SLY)

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Showing 4 comments
  • Joy

    Get it Girl! LOVE LOVE LOVE THE PHOTO! Isn’t is amazing how things just ‘work out’! Very inspirational story. Thanks for sharing! (I really needed to read this today.)

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