Release ~ Can’t Take it With You

by SLY on December 3rd, 2011

My symbolic word for the month of December is RELEASE.

I have a tendency to hold my breath. RELEASE. I like to gather things. RELEASE. I harbor emotions, memories and every single thing that you did. RELEASE. I literally hesitate moving forward because of the distance it can create. RELEASE. I am proud of what I have done. RELEASE. Maybe tomorrow will be different. RELEASE. Perhaps I should take matters in my own hands. RELEASE. In the end, you can’t take it with you. RELEASE.

I have experienced such a full year of living for the year of 2011. I’ve accomplished goals that make me smile so brightly. For example, sometimes its hard to believe that I, not only stage managed a play in New York…something I’ve wanted to do for years but that the play was a Historical Chinese Epic in Mandarin. (I only speak English) I suppose if you are going to dream….you should dream so big that you freak people out…even yourself. I’ve learned a great deal this year. I’ve grown as an artist and as a person. I have re-discovered love. I have done so much and been many things. I have experiences the full range of living. I have lost, I have remembered and I have loved. I am grateful for every experience this year. Even the unpleasant and challenging ones. I am stronger and more alive and more grounded and more of myself because of it all.

My tendency is to document it all. Save it all. Write about it all. Capture it all. Soak up every moment of it and remember every detail. People say I have the memory of an elephant. But now, … now during a time when others remember all of the significance of each moment and they recount the lessons learned, I find I am ready and willing to RELEASE. I don’t even entirely know what it means. I just know I don’t need to hold on. I don’t need to grasp for dear life. It’s ok to RELEASE. I was present before. I am present now. This fleeting yet lovely moment is over and I RELEASE.

*****

A few [partial] definitions of RELEASE that resonate with me.

1. to free from confinement, bondage, obligation, pain, etc.; let go

2. to free from anything that restrains, fastens; liberation

3. to allow to be known, issued, done, or exhibited

4. to give up relinquish, or surrender

5.a grant of permission, as to publish, use, or sell something.

*****

. A few words come to mind when musing on RELEASE.

RELINQUISH. RELAX. EMANCIPATE. FREEDOM. LOOSEN. LET GO. ALLOW.

*****

I have found that I enjoy pushing against the limitations of confinement. This mostly manifest when I dance. My costumes involve strings and strips of fabrics tied all over my body. I wear chokers and leashes and at times I bind my hands or my feet. I enjoy playing with the opportunities in constraint. I push until I can’t anymore. I find every possibility in those moments and then RELEASE occurs. This experience occurs in many of my dances.

I want for that throughout my life. To push and pull as I experience every moment. To find all the possibilities, ideas and creations. I want to thoroughly enjoy and take full pleasure in each moment. And when I’ve reached the height, breadth and width of all, I want to let go and release. I can not experience the next moment, if I am grasping the last one for dear life. Freedom is not in the holding. Please RELEASE.

RELEASE & LIVE

*****

QUOTES

.You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, “I release the need for this in my life” ~ Wayne Dyer

It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are. ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Artist in various fields are always the first to discover how to enable one medium or to release the power of another ~ Marshall McLuhan

There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go. ~Jessica Hatchigan

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. ~Oprah Winfrey

SLY’s 2011 Symbolic Words

January Refine ~ A Process for Purification

February Movement ~ A Journey towards Center

March Imagine ~ Child Play for Adult Work

April Steady ~ Not Easily Shaken or Stirred

May Lost ~ To Come to Be Without

June Memory ~ Recalling the Impacts

July Taste ~ Savoring the Moments

August Celebrate ~ We are Here Now