Instead Soft Cup | A Sexy Little Review

I was taking a shower and he was watching. Sounds like the start of something sexy. Except after imploring me to hurry up so that he could in fact have his way with me and I with him, he said, “Your cycle is starting soon, right?”

I did a double take and tried not to drop my soap.

“What?” I said trying not to lose my shit. The last time I’d been asked a “cycle” question was when I was a teenager and my mom was trying to figure out why I was being so bitchy. What was he implying?

“I can tell,” he said. But the tone of his voice. He wasn’t implying “bitchy.” There was something else in his voice.

“How can you tell?” I asked. I was trying to stay composed and look somewhat sexy while he watched me shower.

“Your body changes. Especially your breasts. I like it,” he said with a sly grin.

I had NEVER had a convo like that before. Well I’ve never spent so much time with a man before that he could tell the ways my body changes.


Months prior to our shower conversation, he and I had met up for an event. I remember because it was the first time he kissed me publicly. I was thrown so far of guard I forgot my name for a second.

At one point he whispered in my ear, “Do you want company tonight?” I wanted it more than he knew but I was on my period and most men had led me to believe that unless I were going to give the most mind blowing blow job, I had no business inviting them over. So I said to him, “I can’t. Not tonight.” I hugged him goodbye and went home lonely and sad.

Later that night he called me. Back then we spoke every night on the phone before bed.

SLY: I really wish you were here right now.
Him: I offered to come over. You said no.
SLY; Well that’s because I’m on my period.
Him: What does that mean? I like your company. I would have still come over. We don’t have to have sex every time we see each other.
SLY: But I want to!
Him: That’s not the point. I will come over even if you are on your cycle. We can talk and relax.

I smiled. This was new to me. He meant it. He wasn’t just saying it to eventually ….well, you know what. He honestly just liked my company.


A few years prior to him, I was watching a video online.

“You’re putting bleached cotton in your vagina. That’s not good!” the youtubers practically screamed. I considered myself a granola with about 5% creek people running through me. (You know, folksy bluegrass mountain hick type… But the sexy vintage found here.) Even still, no matter how much folksy-ness I had in me, I was a granola with limits. I wasn’t gonna let the yellow mellow and I was not gonna use a diva cup. Tampons worked just fine. Thank you very much.

But the way she said it. Bleached cotton…that can even mold…..just sitting up in my pretty vagina. Yikes. And why was I so grossed out at the thought of a menstrual cup? I don’t mind having to stick a finger up there. (I did write a post about masturbation! Remember!) And having suffered from severe nose bleeds as a child, my own blood didn’t freak me out. I don’t know. That day I ran out of excuses, so I ordered a pack of Instead Softcups.

In just ordering the product, I noticed a difference. I went through almost a standard pack of super tampons each cycle. $6 to $8 bucks. The Instead Softcups were $10 for 12 and I only needed one a month. Quick calculations have me saving over $80 a year.

Also, the Softcup wasn’t made of bleached cotton. And since I dance in tiny little shorts and panties, I didn’t have to worry about the occasion string reveal. Good lord, don’t ever let that happen to me.

And yes there were health benefits and tree hugging granola benefits but the selling point of the Softcup as oppose to the others was that they said I could wear it and still have sex! One day I was going to test that theory! (You realize where this story is headed right?)

So I get my Softcups and it took me a few cycles to get used to placing the cup inside my vagina. (Check out the video below. It’s informative and instructional.) Also, enough women spoke up about the size being uncomfortable, so Instead Softcup released a 2nd smaller size. Also, please note that emptying and rinsing the cup is a bit tricky in public restrooms. I’m rarely in that kind of situation anyway since you can keep the cup in for up to 12 hours.

Overall, by the time the lover mentioned above came into the picture I had been using Instead Softcups for two years! I had been using the product enough that I felt so secure and no longer kept back up tampons in my bathroom cabinet. That is, until a friend visited and was on her period and looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the premise of the Softcup. Now I keep tampons for guests but only after giving them an elevator pitch for the Softcup.


So we fast forward past him putting me at ease and telling me that if I were on my period, he’d still come over to spend time with me and it didn’t have to include a blow job.

And we fast forward past him revealing that he knows when my cycle is happening. Some people track it by the moon. He tracks it by the physical subtleties in my body.

One day my period is happening and he knows I’m on my period and he comes over and we are laying in my bed. He’s checking something on his iPad and I was laying there watching him like a groupie. For about thirty minutes I had been trying to figure out how to proposition him about sex with the Softcup. Every possible sentence I wanted to say sounded awkward. Finally I accepted the fact that it was just gonna be awkward.

SLY: ummm… So.
Him: (he closed his iPad and turned to me)
SLY: um. So I used this thing called the Instead Softcup when I’m on my period and it’s great and better for my body. Everything they say it does, so far it has except one thing.
Him: What’s that?
SLY: Well it says that I can have sex with it in and I don’t know if that’s true or  not.
Him: Well this means we will have to experiment.
SLY: (I smiled. This was not awkward at all.) Ok

Before I uttered another word, well… We began experimenting.

After our experimenting…and after he had caught his breath and I remembered my name again, he jumped up, looked at his body and my bedsheets.

Him: Okay. Let’s see! No blood!
SLY: (I checked myself) No blood! Did you feel it inside me?
Him: No!
SLY: That’s good to know especially because you have a big (bleep).
Him: Ohhh shit! I’m gonna tell everyone about the… What is it?
SLY: The Instead Softcup. They should market this to men.

We’ve done multiple “experiments” now. From gentle to rough experiments. We’ve tried different angles and well 100% of our test prove the Instead Softcup is everything it says it is and does everything it says it will do.


*Please note, I purchased this product on my own accord and have been using it for years. I am NOT a spokesperson nor was I sent this product to review. I was not asked to write this review. I’m just a loyal customer and  was prompted to write this because  a few days ago, I was getting dressed at his house.

Him: Your cycle is starting soon.
SLY: What!?! (I just never expect people to begin a convo that way.)
Him: It is, isn’t it?
SLY: (I do some quick calculations in my mind.) I don’t think so. Its like another week or two.
Him: Oh okay.

Not even two days later, I text him.

Doesn’t matter though. Date night and “experimenting” can happen any time of the month. Check out this product comparison. And if you need extra help or a visual, they made a video.

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Showing 21 comments
  • Adastra @Flexines

    You know, I tried this and read about how to insert it but didn’t do it this way; no wonder it failed on me. I’m currently working on a review of the Diva Cup so I am not adverse to giving Soft Cup another shot. I never have understood what is so scary about a woman’s own vagina and menstrual blood–I always regret that I can’t spy on it and track the amount of flow [while using tampons and pads] so I really love the idea of cups. But then, this could be b/c I’m Pre-Med.

    And the man in your story is a complete sweetheart. Your reaction to him predicting your period is a lot like the first time my better half said the same thing, both your fight for composure and the second time when he knew your body better. I really loved this: “Some people track it by the moon. He tracks it by the physical subtleties in my body.” Yes! A woman’s body is amazing and the right partner can help one realize it.

    • Kesarini

      Adastra, I use a cup too (ladycup and now miacup) and it has changed my life. I could never go back to tampons or pads. I still get the “ew that’s gross” reaction from women and I don’t understand it. How is collecting the blood inside your body more gross than sitting in it for hours (in the case of pads) or being completely dried out (in the case of tampons).

      And I am not a doctor. I have passed out once at the sight of blood from someone else’s injury but my own menstrual blood? Doesn’t bother me a bit.

      I do think it’s all in the head. Once someone starts using cups, no way they are going back (once they are past the learning curve).

      • Sheena LaShay

        @Kesarini, …”How is collecting the blood inside your body more gross than sitting in it for hours or being completely dried out.” Now that is gross when I think about it. I agree. I think a lot of it is in the head!

    • Sheena LaShay

      @Adastra, I think my “repulsion” to cups and other “hippy” ish really was just the “fear of the unknown.” Because once I logically considered the options, the cup is what made sense. And he is a SWEETHEART. I read your comment and had to call him just now to tell him how special he was. I always fight for composure when he tells me about myself. LOL.

  • Kesarini

    Great review! Loved reading it.

    Also, how do I make my husband notice things like my breasts changing? He’s an amazing, caring man, but it’s usually not his superpower to notice stuff like that. :)

    • Sheena LaShay

      @Kesarini, how do I make myself notice things changing? I know my body well enough but he notices way before me. When I learn my lover’s trick, I’ll tell you so you can teach your husband.

  • Mia

    I have never had a lover who cared… but I’m older!

    • Sheena LaShay

      @Mia, he surprises me all the time. We’ve been dating for almost two years now and he’s just so different from anyone I’ve known. The way he pays attention to my body encourages me to learn even more about my body too and I thought I was pretty self aware.

  • Mia

    And I have an IUD, can’t use any cup…

    • Sheena LaShay

      I would like an IUD. In the past all my doctors said no. I think it may be time to revisit that.

  • Luci

    So this review was highlighted under the hask review and after reading your review I HAD to try it!!! Ur sorta like a friend in my head so I knew your review was solid. I bought it today, 03/25/14 and tried it that same night with my boyfriend!! No spillage!! And he’s enormous!! There was no spilling during intercourse and even when I checked afterward but between he bringing me home and using my bathroom something happened. I found removal to be a bit icky and I got scared for a moment that it was stuck. But like one user up above stated it’s my blood lol. Thanks for the great review this is a keeper!!

    • Sheena LaShay

      @Luci, I’m so glad you tried it. It definitely took me a moment to get use to putting my hand up in there and pulling it out. But it is just my blood. I’ve had bloody noses before. So I got over it quickly. I’m so glad that it worked out for you!!! YAY! Are you a blogger? You should write a review too!

      • Luci

        No I’m not a blogger, I have ADD I’d start it but get lazy and not finish/follow through lol. It’s a great product and I’ll recommend it…

  • Kristyn

    I loved reading this.. I just started using soft cup, I was wondering how it would be during sex.. Guess ill have to try it out!

  • CM Jones

    Thanks for this post and review! I tried Instead eons ago but just couldn’t manage it. Years later I’m just tired of tampons so I’m going to try them out. Also I was hoping for something that would let me have sex on my cycle. We will see how it goes.

  • Lena

    thanks for the hands up. this is what i need to make the jump to the softcup.

  • Kate

    I’ve been using softcups for years and just finally had sex with my husband with one in (my period’s only 3 days so I usually just skip sex during it). A few minutes in, my husband stopped and kinda freaked out and said, “What am I hitting in there?” I told him and he was like, “Oh,” and continued on his merry way. I probably should have informed him first. But in my experience (experiment?), guys can feel it, especially if they’re big.

  • Nikki

    I’ve had Instead-sex several times and every single time my partner (a few different partners actually) could feel it!! Ex-bf freaked out said it was scraping against him. I am thankful for the product but it’s far from a perfect device. I have never seen different sizes; wish I had because the standard size leaks horribly for me. I still prefer it over a tampon but usually hafta still wear a pad and skip sex :(

pingbacks / trackbacks
  • […] perhaps the flirtation leads to a date or to a sexcapade or a lover or a friend or a story of what never to do […]

  • […] April of 2014 marked my 10 year blogging anniversary and 5 year vlogging anniversary. To celebrate this awesome occasion, I’m doing a series of giveaways. Today’s giveaway is in honor of one of my favorite products, the Instead SoftCup. I’ve been using these for a few years now and even did A Sexy Little Review. […]

  • […] reading my friend Sheena LaShay’s experience with the Instead Soft Cup, I decided to give it a go for the first time last year. For some silly reason, I assumed the […]

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