Honor and Offer. That is the Bliss – S Factor

A part of me scoffed at my pole dance assignment for S Factor a few weeks ago.

I take weekly classes at a pole dance and sensual movement studio that focuses on expressive freestyle movement. We explore pleasure, emotions and sensuality in dimly lit, mirrorless rooms. Every other week, if we want to explore, we are given a theme and assignment. Ideally you are to take that theme, find music, a costume and use movement to convey it. The goal is that with exploring the assignments, you will begin to find what evokes and provokes your erotic creature. An erotic creature being the embodiment of your sensuality and sexuality set to motion.

The assignments that make me roll my eyes or that seem weird to me….are the ones I need to especially pay attention to. Such as “Tethered to the pole.” This week was no exception. Our assignment, Blissful Miss. In short, we were to explore the part of ourselves that like to please the “person in the chair.”

For newbies to the blog, in this dance class…we are taught more than pole dance. We are taught floor work, lap dances, wall dance and more. Any prop, any surface, any thing can be used to dance with, on or against. So usually during your freestyle dance, there is another class mate sitting in the chair for you to use, if you like. I’m always curious by each woman’s relationship to the person in the chair. As the person sitting there is usually a metaphor for someone or something else….whether a celebrity crush, a lover or a fantasy.

Since our class focuses more on sensual pole movement as the dancers form of self expression and her own pleasure…even the person in the chair…is there for the dancer. Therefore S factor flipped the script by asking us…the dancer..to find the beauty we, the dancer could explore in giving pleasure to the person in the chair.

This is also fascinating for someone like me where I have a distinct relationship with the person in the chair. I either ignore them. Or I kill them…with my own pleasure. This is because when I dance…one of three things happen. I’m either Isis the Dominatrix Siren. The experience of my dance will be pretty but you’ll die. I definitely acknowledge the chair but often the chair sitter says they were afraid during my dance and that I’m a predator. Or I dance as Sly the Flirtatious Siren. But in this instance, I flirt with myself. The dance is all about me and dwelling in my yum and I’m letting you watch because I like to be watched. Or I dance as Sheena. (Go read, Triggered by Pain for that explanation.)

So I’m on the train headed to class wondering about this assignment. Wondering what it means to take joy in pleasing “him.” And wondering what it means for my dance. And wondering what song would work.

And then I think about Him. Him being the one who crosses my mind when I first wake up. And I wonder how I can make his day better. I wonder how I can be of service. I wonder how my love can be an act of service. I think about the grin of happiness that spreads across my face at the thought of him. I think about how wonderful I feel when he looks at me. I think about how I love his responses to my random yet intentional acts of kindness. Love notes. Flowers. Beautiful words. Images. Quality time. Support. Everyday I think and then act upon ways that lead to pleasing him.

That isn’t the totality of us. There’s a lot more. So much more. But in thinking of this assignment, I thought about all the ways I attempt to please him just because the act itself delights me.

As is customary, whether there is an assignment or not, I still have a back story for my dances. Remember the lawyer? The Bitch, The Widow and the Housewife? So today, the story was two simple yet powerful words. Honor and Offer. That’s the bliss. Pleasing him is an offer of myself and it is an honor.

But how does that translate into a three minute freestyle pole dance? I decided to change one simple thing. One of my signature things as a performer….my gaze.

My movement style was the same. Arch backs and rolling of the floor. Fireflys around the pole. Backwards cat pounces and signature ass moves. All the same style of Sly the Siren. But I changed the intention of my gaze. Did you know your eye contact can hold that much power? I talk a little about the power of eye contact in my “Pole Dance Energy Play” post. Go check it out when you get a chance.


There is no deep revelation for the end of this post. I moved the same but my gaze was one of honoring and offering. Somehow I find bliss in that. 


Teacher: Ilov Grate

Class: Level 6, Week 7

Studio: Sheila Kelley S Factor New York

Song: Wolf & I, Oh Land

Playlist of Possibilities: See Graphic Below. (Click for larger view)

pole dance playlist

Is your love an act of service? How do you honor and offer? How does this manifest in your art, creativity and movement?

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Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Intellectual Sensual Shaman and Cultural Provocateur. Keeping it simple, you could say she's a Writer and an Erotic Artist.

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