I don’t remember when I first met you. I don’t remember the first time we hung out together. I don’t know when it started. All I know is that by the time Noonie and I hosted our New Years Eve Party at the end of 2014, you were a part of the “Black Cup Crew.”
What was that? Noonie had a selection of clear champagne flute thingies for all of the guests to use at the stroke of midnight. However, on an elevated part of the table, there were six black champagne flute thingies. When people would go to grab them because obviously, they were different, she’d swat them away and say those cups were for some special girls. She had those cups assigned to people like Tamara, Nneka, You, me and herself. She was being petty but we were her favorites and by that time we had all bonded and considered ourselves sisters.
We had our own group chat. We had a shared google calendar so that we always knew each other’s schedule. We routinely hung out. But I don’t know what sparked it and brought us together initially. What was the tipping point? I have no idea. In either case, it led to New Years Eve. Nneka didn’t join us that night. She had to go to church and be with her family, but she was still thought of and no one was allowed to touch her black cup. After that party, we affectionately called ourselves, “The Black Cup Crew.”
What I remember next is that Nneka died. It was in January of 2015. You were in DC, though you were actually supposed to be with Nneka. You canceled going for some reason. (Sometimes you still carry the guilt of that and I want you to let it go.)
Nneka died and we all spent the next week grieving at a friend’s house, as well as taking care of Noonie because she was injured and in the hospital.
(Pictured below: Picking Noonie up from the hospital.)
I remember your sobs and wails. I remember your tears. I remember holding you. I remember forcing you to log off the internet because you were snapping on everybody. I remember holding space for you and grieving with you. I remember her funeral and being with you. I remember that time. It was a pivotal time in our relationship, though we were already sisters. But it changed us. It changed our very DNA and the way we were connected.
Other things are coming back to me. Dinner at Madiba’s with a group from Nomadness which included Nneka. (This has happened in 2014 when she was still alive.) There was a vision board party at the beginning of 2015. We both…without planning it even spent time in Chicago together. You were going for a birthday party and I was going for a conference. This was a happy accident and led to even more time with you.
As time progressed, we grew closer and closer. We grew together as a group, “The Black Cup Crew” and you and I built our own personal friendship too.
I noticed you were always slow to speak but when you did it was sharp, poignant, and exact. I learned you had high expectations when it came to people and dating and more. I learned you had a girly gentle side. Your little pretty purses and great lipsticks and your ass in a dress is ALL THE THINGS. But then there’s the intellectual side of you, the professional side of you, the curious side of you. But you’re understated and really smooth. But you’ll snap a neck if you have to. And don’t let that accent come out full force. I just like your energy. It mixes well with my energy.
I appreciate that you’ve always encouraged me to be transparent and authentic and you hold me accountable and call me out on my shit but also always support me. You ask questions to dig deeper and you show me a perspective I hadn’t considered before.
I don’t remember when it happened but sometime last year we have a #BCC dinner. You invited us into your home and you prepared a feast. It was like a seven-course meal. I was just expecting chicken and rice but you went all out. It was an amazing time together. We all talked about everything under the sun from business to dating to our dreams and even the next events we wanted to host. Then you indulged me by letting me lead the group in a series of exercises.
First, we wrote down things we wanted to destroy and we burned them in a fire. Next, we spoke our desires onto rose petals and covered the ashes with them. Then we wrote out our life values and ways we could practically and dreamily live them out. Thanks for letting me have a “woo woo” moment with the group.
You’re a no nonsense shark who observes quite a lot and yet you’re also a subtle and graceful woman. I value my friendships with women, as I am aware of the differences between men and women. And I am very grateful to call you friend. All of my siblings are much younger than me, so its amazing to have a handful of sisters, yourself included, who I can travel with, cry with and live my life with.
Thank you for being Wild in the giving of your love and Magical in the way you’re able to connect….this is how we became sisters and why I am the Wild Magical Woman that I am today.
#32LoveLetters is a 32 day blog post challenge leading up to my 32nd birthday, I am writing letters to the people in my life who contributed to me becoming fully myself as a Wild Magical Woman. If someone were to write a biography about me…which they will, it’s imperative that chapters are focused on these 32 people. They have had a profound, lasting and influential effect on my life. I can not tell my own story without telling you of theirs.