I love you. That is all!
I mean it in the sense that the way I look at you is a unique gaze that most people on this planet won’t ever experience. Let’s take a look, shall we.
I am in love with the intoxicating allure of every ounce of your energy. You command my attention.
So let’s get into this, shall we love?
The first time we met in real life, after over a year of online conversations was when you came to the Hamptons to attend one of my “Weekend with Friends” group trips aka Grown Up Sleepovers. You didn’t really know me from the man on the moon, but you committed and showed up and showed out. The conversations were fun. The jokes were hilarious. And your lips…are just so yum. One day, I’m gonna kiss you, I swear.
However….we have to get into why you were able to inspire that gaze! A few months back, I wrote on facebook…..
You’re one of the few men who knows how to Wolf me down. My soul thanks you. This trip was the first time we ever met in person. And a day later you were commanding me past my comfort. Who knew the path that would lead us on. Such as Vermont. More yum. Or to consulting me on how to travel better via your packing rituals. Or to you hiring me….literally paying me those dollars for designing your website, working as a brand strategist and editor. To then me becoming YOUR customer. I can’t wait for my New Zealand Carried Away box. Babe, you have me. Forever. (This isn’t even your letter yet.) Just woke up thinking about domination, submission, power play, energy exchange and all the men friends and lovers who know how to Wolf this Siren down. Thank you for being my friend. I volunteer as tribute to anything you want.
Also #SeattleBlackOut….. yum!
Yours, Sheena LaShay
I stated that you pushed me beyond my comfort. Khalif, I’m not a big water person. I’m a poor swimmer. I’ve almost drowned twice. And the thought of completely relaxing in water slightly frightens me. I told someone recently, “I don’t trust myself to completely lose control.” Being in water makes me feel out of control. I feel exposed and at risk. I can wade in water. I can take a sexy photo. I’ll do simple stuff. But really, I don’t fuck around with water that much.
In the Hamptons. everyone was chilling and having a good time and I wanted to try. I wanted to try and get in that pool and have a good time too.
But I was scared.
Everyone was like, “Sheena get in the water. It’s ok. Just jump in. It will be fine. Come on Sheena.” All of them. And the more they spoke, the more I begin to shut down. I don’t like when a lot of people talk at once. I don’t do peer pressure. And its just not the way to influence me. I don’t know what you know about anything related to this kind of stuff, but with a calm, soft and commanding voice, you simply stated, “Sheena, come here.”
And so I walked to you willing, full of joy and open to anything that was about to come out of your mouth.
You started talking to me. Telling me about the water and about myself and about what you wanted me to do and how you wanted my experience to be. My back arched with delight. You could have told me to bark like a fucking dog or fly off to the moon and I would have complied.
You ended that part of our conversation by saying you were going to count to three and when you got there, I would go under the water, enjoy myself and reemerge. I guess I was having a Lake Minnetonka moment. I don’t even know. I didn’t even care. All I wanted was your command. So I did as I was told and I reemerged…lipstick perfectly in take and water proof. (Thanks Heroine by Mac) Twist out all moisturized and shit.
And babe, that was the moment I fell in love with you. Most people in every single known galaxy will never be able to even try to do what you did to me.
It wasn’t even about the water.
It wasn’t even about the fact that you could command me. See, in the BDSM world, I am a Switch…which means, I am used to Doms in a long term relationship or just short scenes commanding my Submissive side. Most people won’t ever experience that side of me, but a handful can or have.
But you did this in a moment of my own fear and weakness. That is what stands out.
Its not like I was at a Fetish Party and I was having a play scene with a Dom. It wasn’t like I was at home with a lover and the sex that night fell into a Power Play exchange of submission.
No. This was a friend. One I had just met a day earlier. Who saw my discomfort in a normal group setting. And then this friend used the power of command and allure in a nonsexual way to guide me.
It was just so fucking hot! Why the fuck am I not your type? God, I’d date you in a heartbeat. SHIT!
Anywho. Probably for the best. Because I’d probably be at home in a cage with a leash on waiting for you to feed me dinner. (I’m freaking some people out. Let me shut up.)
Khalif, that’s what sealed the deal with us. You are a rare exception who knows how to Wolf me the fuck down and I will always love you for it. And the first time you did it was in a moment to help me flourish.
The growth of our friendship expanded beyond that. You had been watching me work as I helped develop some of the branding and the website for The Travel Hustler Intl. Whenever Juleon would post online his epic threads of his adventures, I’d come on the thread and demand that he stop doing that and use that content for his website. (He rarely listened.) And one day during one of those online conversations, you asked in front of him, if you could hire me to do what I was attempting to do with him. A week later, and we had already had two business consults, a three month plan, the first payment sent and together we launched… Mr. CarryOn.
On July 17th, I wrote,
So today Khalif Hayes officially announced the launch of his website and brand, Mr. CarryOn.
We’ve spent the past few months developing his brand, strategizing and then building the website. Yes, when I’m not a project manager by day, photographer/videographer/blogger/dancer/speaker/workshop leader/creative artist/business consultant by night….I also dabble in a bit of graphic design and web design. Just a little bit. Though working on his site has increased my skill level.
We still have some things to tweak. Another team is finishing his logo so we can plaster it everywhere. I have a few kinks I need to research or have someone else fix for the site. But we’re doing it before we’re ready so we can die empty. I kid. We’re ready. There are numerous blog posts up with free advice, his shop is ready so you can book him, I’m loving what we’ve called the “Dream Destinations” page and there is more to go. Soon we shall publish his Favorite Products with links to where you can get them at and lots more. I want to be one of the first to get a branded #mrcarryon packing cube!
If you see any issues and such. Let us know. There’s three I’m aware of already. Also, I love all things Khalif. Now when I travel I either ask myself What Would Khalif Pack or I hit him up for a consult!
I’m so proud of you, babe. I’m so proud of the work we’ve done together. I love that you have been a dream client from the very fucking beginning. I want every client to be like you! What I also love is that we switch those roles. Sometimes I’m your client. I can’t count how many consults you’ve done for me because my travel is not normal and how I need to pack isn’t like the everyday person. You always help me figure it out though. Every single time.
I also became one of your clients by purchasing my first ever Carried Away box from New Zealand. (I still need to do a review. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE BOX) I want one from Prague too. Babe, send me the content so we can load those boxes on your website too.
I like that we are friends and we joke and have a good time and travel together. (Ugh, can’t wait to see you in Seattle in July 2017.) I love that we can swap kink stories and dating stories. I love that business is business and you demand my invoices and that I charge you correctly and you honor the deadlines and meetings we schedule. I love that you contribute to the development of our work and don’t put it all on me. But you’ll listen to my guidance too. I love that you’ve helped me in my own life and my travel adventures. I love every fucking thing about you.
On my birthday, we exchanged the following messages.
Khalif: You’re the shit Sheena
Sheena: I’m the shit? Ha. What makes you say that?
Khalif: You’re the shit because you are exactly who you say you are. You’re a dope person and friend. You excel at work and other business areas of your life. You travel. And you’re fucking cute.
Lol Khalif. What I love about you is that you are exactly who you say you are too. Also, it just occurred to me. You’re the man responsible for one of the most powerful love affairs I ever had. You brought the two of us together and he changed my life. Thank you for that. You didn’t even know you were doing that but if it hadn’t been for you…my life would be in a different place right now and I’m very grateful for that connection.
But he’s not the point. The point is you. A man, a friend, a client and a Wolf who knows how to tap into my fears and my desires in an authentic, powerful, awe-inspiring way that makes me shut out the rest of the world and sit at awe at your feet. Babe, I am yours! You are Wild and Magic and thus it allows me to be a Wild Magical Woman too. Jesus Christ, I am soooo much of a better person because you exist on this earth. Thank you for the honor of being able to call you friend, confidant. You are a soul lover to me.
#32LoveLetters is a 32 day blog post challenge leading up to my 32nd birthday, I am writing letters to the people in my life who contributed to me becoming fully myself as a Wild Magical Woman. If someone were to write a biography about me…which they will, it’s imperative that chapters are focused on these 32 people. They have had a profound, lasting and influential effect on my life. I can not tell my own story without telling you of theirs.