The King of Seduction – #32LoveLetters

king of seduction -

Dear King of Seduction,

To know me and to truly understand me, would be to know the lovers in my life. I am Sheena the Siren, the Wolf and the Unicorn who has kink tendencies, who went on 73 dates between 20 men during 2015. I’m the “Spreadsheets and Spreadeagle” girl. I think dating is awesome. My heart is open. I love vulnerability…now. I curate my date nights. I have that “secret sex blog.” Pleasure, Desire, Seduction, Love, Mind Fucks, Sex, Yum, Eroticism…all those things are embedded into my core. My positive experiences with this is because of the lovers I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and experiencing. Their amazing perspectives, intentional actions and expressions have shaped how I view dating, relationships and love. I’d be remiss, if I didn’t tell you that I’m the Wild Magical Woman that I am today because of  you.

While we’ve known of each other for 14 years, our story truly unfolded a few years back when we reconnected online via facebook. I don’t know what started it or why but thus began a genuine journey to truly learn each other. I liked it because we were talking about taboo topics from a spiritual, intellectual and personal way with no romantic intent.  When I shared my anonymous sex blog with you, your reactions included phrases like, “Delighted, actually. And edified.” I loved the words you used when communicating with me. Your rhetoric is beautiful. You also asked me questions most don’t readily ask at the beginning of a budding friendship such as what was my background, what did my background teach me about sex, when did I become sexually active and how did I arrive at a sense of sexual liberation.

Because of your gentle, curious and direct approach, as well as your intellectual yet tantalizing word choices, you put me at ease and opened me up further. When I explained bits of my childhood history with you, I recall sharing one memory only about five people on this planet know of. But you created an environment where I felt free. You asked me.

I’ve been saying lately that what I want is permission and protection. I want people to ask me. To allow me the power to choose them. You always asked me and it gave me the glorious freedom to say yes and to let you in.

How our friendship morphed into a dating relationship…not entirely sure. The energy shifted one night and we made out like highschoolers under the bleachers. What followed was maybe 2 to 3 dates over a course of a 1.5 years, poignant conversations, a homework assignment and a wonderful gift. We no longer date. We probably never will again. But in that short span of time, you made such a difference.

One of the things I loved was that you pulled a “Sheena” move. Usually after my dates, I send an email to the lover with my thoughts. Sometimes, as you know, I’d write about the “concept” of a lover on my anon blog or even public blog. You are referenced a few times on my website even.  Well after our first meetup which I suppose morphed into a date, you wrote me the following. Its things like this that will always endear me to you…..


Hi Sheena,

It was so much fun to finally hang out in person. Thanks for introducing me to your friends, for the life-affirming conversation, and for the teeth on my back. :-) I don’t have a blog, but I do keep a journal. Since I enjoy talking about such things you, and since you like sex stories, here’s the entry I just wrote. Read if you care to. I look forward to the next time we cross paths and your friends try to sit on my face. :-)



My evening with Jupiter (his nickname for me) was everything I expected—and a lot I didn’t expect.  The animated conversation, the life-affirming exchange of stories and ideas, the joy of getting to know a new person whose outlook on life I share (at least in part, but not so much as to be boringly the same) –these things I expected.  They are why I was there, why I had sought out this encounter.  Corresponding with Jupiter was all those things, how could face-to-face conversation not be richly and joyfully more so?  And it was, rich and joyful. 


The hours-long make-out session—that I did not expect.  No—that was an unexpected gift of an experience. The whole evening was a gift, the gay boys humping each other and groping and playing starfish made me feel more at home than any moment I’ve had in this strange, repressed country since I’ve been back.  Gift, refreshment, gift.


And staying up late talking into the night with Jupiter, joking, sharing, until that kiss-or-die moment arrived hours later, was more sensually pleasing than the dirty, sweaty weekend I spent in that seaside hut with the Trinidanian girl in Bali, who fucked but whose conversation was grating and emotionally draining and unharmonious. It was sensual, just talking, and then kissing, and then, embracing every other part of my body and hers as sites of sensual exploration, without shame or embarrassment, interspersed with geek jokes and childish teasings in between voraciously sucking her clit or exploring her back with my teeth or stroking her belly into squirmy pleasure or holding an astronomy lesson on her right breast—it was sensual, and it was something else, too, that I couldn’t name until I thought about it:  it was innocent. 


No expectations, physical or emotional; no unspoken demands for sexual performance or emotional attachment; no shame or second thought.  It was innocent. I cannot remember the last time sex felt so innocent, so relaxed, so undemanding.  I did not expect that from this internet-sex-guru-BDSM-NYC-goddess. How tame our activity compared to that, how normal compared to the romps and excesses of the other encounters we both have had—and how sensual precisely for that. How sensual in its innocence. A gift. Unexpected. Refreshing.  Un-string-attach-ified. Innocent.  A gift.      

The fact that you wrote that. That you shared it. That that was your experience…and mine as well…this is why I love you. This is why I know love and intimacy and expression can be experienced on any level in any situation. I just have to be open to it.

I think of so many things. I think of how our conversations are what lead to a lot of the curriculum for my Sensual Eroticism workshop. I think about how fluidly we can platonically speak on every topic. I think about how we dated briefly but to this day you are a dear friend. I think about how you can tell the undercurrent of my online tone. You know me. You hold space for me. I am thought of. You are thought of. I hold space for you. I see you. I feel you. You have left a permanent imprint upon my heart, my mind, and my emotions.

Your vocabulary. Your intent. Your thoughtfulness. Your intellect. Your creativity. Your sensuality. You’re one of the key examples of why dating is awesome and Wolves are yum and pleasure is all over the world for us to have. You’re the perfect example of what it is to date a man.

And its insane because we’ve never been a couple. I think we went on three dates, my dear. And we’ve been friends ever since. And all I always think is how excited I am for whomever you choose as your wife. I don’t think its going to be me. I can’t predict the future but I’m pretty sure we won’t marry. But I know I will always be your friend. And I will always trust every intieration of myself with you including every single thought I have. I love you. You’re one of my favorite friends.

Thank you. Thank you for asking me thought provoking questions. Thank you for sharing yourself with me. Thank you.

I want to close this letter with sharing some of my favorite quotes from you. I want those reading to know the types of lovers that exist in this beautiful world.

“I find your conversation and company as erotic as your body.”  – King of Seduction

“Sometimes, when I see an especially poignant remark of yours online somewhere, or see a particularly striking picture of you, I am amazed by the fact that this incredible woman, this guru of self-empowerment, this sexy goddess who has half of Manhattan smitten, had me run my lips down the tattoos on her back, let me caress her small, fiery body with my own. I am amazed by that. It makes me think that life must in fact be beautiful. Thanks for being my happy thought for today.” – King of Seduction

“Just getting into Manhattan to have lunch with a friend and I swear every time I’m in the city I get massively tuned on and energized by the memory of what kissing you felt like and what the tattoos on your back looked like in that dim lamplight. I love the joyful power of memory…briefly having been your lover is a gift that keeps on giving.” – King of Seduction

“If I could give you an orgasm just by reading poetry into your ear, I would,” – The King of Seduction

P.S., I’ve just decided something….long after you and I are dead, I want them to find all our facebook messages, all of our text messages and every other form of communication and I want them to bind it into a book. “The King & the Siren.” Something like that. I just want people to know what its like to know you and to converse with you and to think and muse with you.


You Should Also Read

Three Things to Say to Her – Its all about the King of Seduction

How Technology Makes Dating Awesome – Number four was his creative assignment for me. One of my favorite “homework” assignments ever from a lover.

The Misperception of a Woman Who Loves Multiple Men – The King of Seduction is case study one

#32LoveLetters -

#32LoveLetters is a 32 day blog post challenge leading up to my 32nd birthday, I am writing letters to the people in my life who contributed to me becoming fully myself as a Wild Magical Woman. If someone were to write a biography about me…which they will, it’s imperative that chapters are focused on these 32 people. They have had a profound, lasting and influential effect on my life. I can not tell my own story without telling you of theirs. 

Have you ever experienced a King or Queen of Seduction?




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Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Intellectual Sensual Shaman and Cultural Provocateur. Keeping it simple, you could say she's a Writer and an Erotic Artist.

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