There are many things that I love and adore about you. I will even reshare what I wrote to you on your birthday. However, before I get into that, I want to talk about why or when I knew I was committed to our friendship without a shadow of a doubt.
The moment happened in November during our final night of our Nomadness group trip in Chiang Mai, Thailand. We had just experienced the Festival of the Lanterns, after a hectic and trying day and that moment was magic. We went to dinner at some cute restaurant and because it was our last day, some of us wanted to go out and celebrate because nothing had been organized. We wanted to go to a rooftop bar whose name escape me right now.
Now, people must know this was a weeknight and the city shuts down fairly early. Its not NY. Therefore, I kept glancing at my phone noting the passing time. Even giving warning to the group. “Hey everyone, if we still want to make it, we need to head out soon. The place closes in 2 hours.” And that countdown kept happening.
We finished dinner and then stood outside the restaurant where the group was lolly gagging. Some were trying to decide if they wanted to go back to the compound or if they wanted to go out. Others were just small talking. We now had about 45 minutes until the place closed and it was a 15-minute walk from where we were. What if they were crowded? What if we couldn’t find a spot to chill? What if all this pussy footing around meant I couldn’t have a final night of celebrating? I just wanted a fucking drink.
I said something to the group again. Something like, “If you’re not going, get in a taxi and go home. If you are going, we need to head this way.” People still hesitated but eventually started to make decisions. Eventually, I was fucking OVER IT. I didn’t give a flying fuck who was going or not. I WAS GOING to the rooftop bar and I was going in that very moment. So I started walking towards the place. (Turns out I was one of the few who knew where it was too.)
A few of you started to follow me as well. Too slow for my preference. Have any of you seen my New York walk? Its insane. Its fast. Some people say it appears I’m running. Nope. Its just my walk. I got places to be! I did my New York walk in Chiang Mai late at night and apparently I ended up like 8 or 9 blocks ahead of you guys. At some point you all caught up to me. Huffing and puffing.
You turned to me and with fierceness and force you said, “Why are you running?”
I got dismissive. Said something about how I WAS GOING TO WHERE I WANTED TO GO! Blah blah blah.
But you didn’t let it slide so easily. “We were behind you, following you. We don’t know where this place is. I thought we were going together. So why were you running so far ahead of us?”
I may have made some flippant remark. You looked at me and shook your head and when the light changed, we continued to walk to the rooftop bar.
We all got drinks. The place was only ok that night so we decided to leave and go to a reggae club instead, though none of us knew where it was. I found a local woman, described where we were trying to go and she drew me a map on a napkin on how to get there. (I still have that napkin!) We got there BUT it was closed and eventually we all headed home.
Nothing too big happened that night. But…..you called me on my shit. I had already had much respect for you considering the path of our friendship. Plus you and I spent so much quality time together on that trip. But in a moment when I didn’t give a single fuckity fuck and was done with group think and wanted to do my own shit, you stopped me in my tracks and in so many words said, “No the fuck you won’t. We are in this shit together. So SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.” <– in so many words. You didn’t say those words but your energy said it.
You’re not afraid of me. You’re not intimidated by me. I don’t rattle you. And when you need to, you will call me on my shit. That is why I am committed to our friendship and will do all I can to honor you and support you and love you.
I cannot be a Wild Magical Woman trying to change the world one orgasm or pole dance at a time, if I am committed to my assholery or if in the worst times possible aka late at night in a foreign country when no one else knows the directions….i choose then to be a selfish brat. Nope. You shot my brat down and demanded to see the real Sheena again. Thank you for that. Please always do that. Don’t let me get away with shit! I can’t be powerful if I’m being a punk. Please hold me accountable always!
And for those who did not have the chance to see my birthday love letter to Maya, this is what I wrote her:
When I first met Maya Batts it’s because she traveled from Washington DC to New York to attend my lap dance meetup. It was her first Nomadness meetup ever. I thought she was courageous and adventurous and curious.
Next time I met her, she attended my Sensual Eroticism workshop. Again she traveled from DC to NY to be a part. By then, I thought she was hungry, passionate and stirring.
The next time I met her it was to grab groceries out of her car. I had scheduled a Sensual Eroticism workshop in DC but due to a conference I would arrive to the city too late to grocery shop. Part of the experience of my workshop is feasting on and consuming what I prepare for you. Maya knowing my schedule volunteered to grocery shop for me. This was only her third time meeting me and she was paying to attend the workshop. By then I thought she was lovely, caring and kind.
I would next encounter Maya in Thailand. We had an immediate bond. My first trip to Thailand was magical because of Maya. She kept me sane, laughing and grounded. We saw monks defying the law. We saw monks in silence making candles. We walked and explored and talked our hearts out. My experience was what it was because of Maya. Because of this, including her calling me out on my shit, I thought she was bold, inspiring and such a delight.
I would see Maya here and there between DC and NY, after Thailand and our friendship grew. Our inside jokes grew. And the depth of my love grew.
Then there was the #VermontBlackout, where Maya and Amber were goddesses of creation and destruction and I was before sacredness and openness and trust in their presence.
And soon we will have The Sweet Spot and our #SeattleBlackOut and more. All I know is that after every encounter I leave with a better understanding and experience of love, compassion and fire.
Maya thank you for being a Wild Magical Woman. Thank you for your fire and your grace. Happy Birthday.
As referenced in your birthday letter, Sweet Spot did happen. 50 of us attended the show and it was a yummy weekend and everyone said you looked like a Goddess. Actually, Sweet Spot in DC happened first and then we also went to the NY one and now we’re going back to the DC one in October and then back to the NY one in November.
We also completed a Tough Mudder together. You literally carried me on your back and I carried you on mine. We’re planning a group trip together. #NorthernExposure for our #SeattleBlackout. We’re now holding business meetings together and collaborating on shit, one being so epic and mind blowing that even we get confused at times at what we’ve been creating and tracking…in a good way.
We have a lot of significant moments in the history of us. Ones that really matter to me such as sensuality, sexuality, eroticism, business, travel, physical team challenges and more. And all this shit matters to me. You matter much to me. Hold me accountable. There’s no way to be Wild or Magic without it!
#32LoveLetters is a 32 day blog post challenge leading up to my 32nd birthday, I am writing letters to the people in my life who contributed to me becoming fully myself as a Wild Magical Woman. If someone were to write a biography about me…which they will, it’s imperative that chapters are focused on these 32 people. They have had a profound, lasting and influential effect on my life. I can not tell my own story without telling you of theirs.