Video Replay – Rape Culture for A Holes 101

Rape Culture for Assholes

“Forgive and Forget”
“It happened so long ago. Why are you still talking about it?”
“Give it to God. Pray on it.”
“People lie all the time.”
“But he’s not a monster.”

These are all phrases someone at one point or another have said to me as they have learned about my childhood sexual abuse. My ex step dad is still a staple in his community, a church leader, works with the police department, starred in a play about sex slavery and is a great vocalist at funerals. By all accounts, he’s an amazing man and the last time he ever molested me happened 18 years ago. Shouldn’t I just bury the topic now?

Well, on Wednesday, August 17 at 9pm est I went live on Facebook with a broadcast titled “Rape Culture for Assholes 101”. If you’re not an asshole, you actually can watch too. This broadcast is for everyone. For those who have been abused or assaulted, for those who know someone, for those who don’t know someone, for those who are the ones who abused or assaulted someone but especially it’s for the assholes. Let’s give it up to them in this training and information session.


You May Also Want to Check Out

An Essay on Consent via Huffington Post – “Consent is always conditional on participants’ ability to revoke their consent.”

My Reasons For Lying to D.C.F.S. via Sheena LaShay – “Sometimes people lie about being a victim of abuse/rape/assault. One time, I lied.”

Gender and Empathy via Feministing – “Men shouldn’t need to ‘imagine if it were your wife/daughter/mother.”

How to Rescue Victims via Sheena LaShay – “What stood out to me was the fact that the rescuers were ill-equipped to handle the full rescue of the survivors. They hadn’t seen this level of tragedy before. ”

Sex Crimes Against Black Girls via Shantrelle P. Lewis – “Historically regarded as matters private to our community, those, that if put in plain sight, might inadvertently corroborate White supremacist imaginations of Black pathology, sex crimes against Black girls are the dirtiest of our laundry – nasty, gaping wounds too infected to heal on their own”

Let’s Talk About Sex via Sheena LaShay – “Many people can’t fathom talking about sexual acts in an authentic, honorable and yet pleasurable way, so how the hell are we supposed to be comfortable talking about molestation, rape, incest, forced anal sex, and street harassment? If we can’t talk about multiple sexual partners without being labelled a whore, weird, or it being a case of  how “black people date,” just how can we talk about the cost of rape, the after effects of child abuse, and the curious case as to why the legal system favors the perpetrators?”

Tea and Consent via Thames Valley Police – “If you’re still struggling with consent just imagine instead of initiating sex you’re making them a cup of tea.”

After Shock via Sheena LaShay – “I believe that the majority of society hasn’t a clue what it means to be a survivor of sexual abuse and/or assault unless they actually have experienced it. The average person does not understand the weight of this tragedy. I think some people believe that it ends after the traumatic sexual incident ends. Some people wonder why victims go on for years carrying the weight of this specific trauma, especially if the criminal was caught and sentenced. There are very little crimes and incidents that leave us in the state of aftershock that sexual abuse and assault does. The only similar trauma I can think of is when a soldier comes home from war.”

Consent and $5 via Nifisa Ahmed – “Bc we still have to spell out rape for some of y’all…”

Office Underwood and the Missing Case File via Sheena LaShay – “After being interviewed about my childhood abuse by two poorly trained cops in front of my mother, they lost my entire case file. That happens sometimes. Victims being willing and then the system saying “fuck you.” Be aware.”

Why Victims Don’t Report Crimes via Sheena LaShay – “Only 3 out of every 100 rapists will ever spend a day in jail.”

Taking Control of the Healing Process via Sheena LaShay – “I believe that it is important that you understand that if you have been a victim of sexual abuse, sexual assault, incest, rape, or molestation…that everything towards making yourself whole again must happen at a pace in which you are comfortable. That is: personal growth, healing, forgiveness, restoration, counseling or anything else. Do not let people rush you.”

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Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Intellectual Sensual Shaman and Cultural Provocateur. Keeping it simple, you could say she's a Writer and an Erotic Artist.

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