“She’s a survivor in every sense of the word. Sheena has one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard when it comes to sexual healing. The way she was able to uncover and reclaim her erotic power after trauma is nothing short of magical.”
~ Ev’Yan Whitney, Creator of Sex Love Liberation and Sexuality Doula
Today, in my conversation with Ev’Yan of Sex Love & Liberation, I talk about the journey from deep, heartbreaking sexual trauma and depression to radical sexual agency and erotic empowerment. I encourage you to head over to her website to hear our podcast as I share many of my sensual practices (including how I used erotic dance as a method of sexual healing outside of the bedroom), how I found safety in the pleasure of my own body again, and also how I see myself as a sexually liberated woman.
While you listen, you will note that I make mention of various articles, books and more and therefore, I wanted to share with you a toolkit to aid you as or after you listen.
First, Ev’Yan and I spoke briefly on my childhood sexual abuse. We spent most of our time talking about the journey towards liberation. However, if you want to learn more details about my story, I have written many articles over the past 12 years. Articles like:
- His Hand Was a Gun
- The Mother of a Monster
- Officer Underwood and the Missing Case Files
- After Shock
- The Conflicting Nature of Good Touch and Bad Touch
- A Lecture on Childhood Safety and the Adult’s Responsibility
- The Least of These Things: Surviving vs Thriving
- My Reasons for Lying to Child Protective Services
There are a few tabs that may make reading easier such as “Sexual Abuse” or “Sexual Assault Awareness Month” I am also a speaker of RAINN and an advocate for sexual abuse awareness. Learn more about my efforts by clicking here. I even once did a sensual and emotional pole dance called “Pole for the 1 in 6: The First Offense.”
In our podcast I mentioned how during my early twenties, I started seeing a therapist. To encourage me to move past my complacent behavior when it came to dating and sex, she asked me what did I want to feel and what did I want to experience. This was a radically different approach than asking me to list all the qualities I wanted a lover to possess. I share some of my musings on what I want to feel and experience on the Sweet Spot Nation blog, in an article titled, “What Do You Want To Feel Right Now?” I encourage you to read that post and then to create your own list. If you need inspiration, many of my friends shared their thoughts as well.
In our podcast, I mentioned how one lover asked me during one of our first dates, “What do you want our sexual journey to be?” While he may have had his own yummy motivation for asking that question, it empowered me to answer that question for myself as a sexual woman and for our relationship. It also now serves as a guide to reference with any of my lovers. I share portions of the letter I wrote him on the Sweet Spot Nation blog as well, in an article titled, “What Do I Want Our Sexual Journey To Be.” I encourage you to think about that too and answer the question.
In our podcast, I spoke a lot about sensual movement and erotic dance. I have been a pole dancer for six years now and most of my experiences have been through Sheila Kelley S Factor. I have dozens and dozens of post chronicling my experience as a dancer. Articles such as “Triggered by Trauma,” “Triggered by Truth and Love,” ‘The Bitch. The Widow & The Housewife,” “Adjusting for Decency” and “Spiritual Eroticism.” One article I specifically referenced was “Bringing Your Inner Vixen to the Boardroom.” I don’t suggest you hair flip your way to a raise. But I do encourage you to find ways to use sensual, sexual and erotic energy in all areas of your life. You can read all of my S Factor pole dancing posts by CLICKING HERE.
Other Things to Check Out
We talked a bit about reclaiming yourself and that is exactly what I had to do with the help of my therapist. In an article titled “Restoration.” I share a quote that made a huge difference for me. “You do yourself an injustice by not being whole.”
I mentioned I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts in our podcast. In this video called, “Suicide Prevention: One Thing You Can Do,” I share more of my story and one of the things that saved me.
I’ve been musing a lot lately on the Sexually Liberated Woman and the Black Jezebel. You can view part one of a video series by clicking here.
During a rapid fire Q&A segment, Ev’Yan asked, “If my sexual energy was an animal, what would it be?” I said, “A Wolf.” I love archetypes. Read more on The Siren and The Wolf here. (Pssst. I’m presently writing a book all about the WOLF!)
There were a few books, authors and sexual muses I mentioned. Check out:
- Full Exposure: Opening up to Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression by Susie Bright
- A Return to Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion by Gina Ogden
- Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
- Who Cooked the Last Supper: The Women’s History of the World: by Rosalind Miles
- Scandalous Women: The Lives and Loves of History’s Most Notorious Women: by Elizabeth Kerri Mahon
- The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love: The 11 Secrets of Feminine Power by Abiola Abrams
Other interviews that touch on similar topics:
- Reconnecting with Your Sexuality After Abuse with Health and Sensuality Coach Nadia Munla
- Beauty as a Spiritual Practice with Author and Self Love Coach Abiola Abrams
- Intimate Conversations with Intimate Coach Allana Pratt
What to Do Next:
- Sign up for the FREE Embody Festival with Nadia Munla happening online November 7th – 13th. Experience daily movement classes, music, poetry, art and listen to 20 Powerhouse Thought Leaders, including myself, reveal our personal stories of reclaiming our erotic essence and sensual power.