What If I Had to Resist My Own Desires – S Factor, Level 6

“I’m gonna be a good girl today because you want me to be an asshole.” 

Every week, I take at least one 2-hour pole dance and sensual movement class at Sheila Kelley S Factor. Our dance classes are not your “normal” pole dance classes. There are no mirrors. The lights are usually off, except for 2 red lamps and a few scattered faux candles. There are an average of 3 to 5 poles in any room, as you are encouraged to share a pole with 1 to 3 other classmates. And when you walk into the dimly lit room, usually freshly sprayed with some sensual fragrance, there are purple yoga mats laid out in a circle.

We begin class by doing a 30 to 45 minute EXTREMELY SLOWED down version of a hybrid blend of yoga, pilates and floorwork. A short sample is seen below.

After our warm up is complete, with most of those movements serving as the building blocks for a movement vocabulary towards freestyle movement, the “upper level” classes engage in two to three songs of “Moving Meditation.” Moving Meditation is Energy Play. Its similar to when a band has a jam session. The movement is freestyle and instead of all the women warming up on their mats, they begin to sensually dance all around the room, sometimes coming into physical, mental, emotional, or energetic contact with their classmates. Sometimes we jokingly call it “The Orgy.” Go read more details about this in “Pole Dancing Energy Play.” Or you can watch it below.

Once warm up is complete, we then focus on “Pole Work.” We spend 15 to 20 minutes learning and practicing spins, inverts, climbs, pole tricks and more under the guidance of our teacher. This is probably the most concentrated time most women will spend on the pole….as “pole dancing” is only one element of what we learn in these sensual and empowering classes.

Next, we switch into yummy clothing and we each get to pick a song to freestyle dance to. There’s usually one main girl dancing and two other women are assigned to certain areas of the room to dance too. Those two women are merely warming up for when we rotate and its their turn to be the main dancer. The rest of our classmates, as classes range from 5 to 12 women, sit on a bench and cheer, root and holler for the main girl dancing. Oh, and also there is usually someone sitting in the “lap dance chair.” So if the main girl doing her freestyle dance, wants to interact with the person in the chair, she can. And after each dance, the entire class rotates so that every woman has had the opportunity to freestyle dance to her song of her own choosing using the floor, walls, chairs, poles, props and more.

What If I Had to Resist My Own Desires – S Factor, Level 6

What makes this all even more fun is that every other week, S Factor gives us an assignment. We are to take the theme assigned and find music, movement and a costume that goes with that theme. I usually take it a step further and add a “story” behind my dance. If for instance the theme is “Heartbreak”…I make up a story and therefore I became, “The Widow.” The theme was once “Mad Women” as an ode to “Mad Men” and I decided I was the “housewife who was fed up with cleaning and shit!” Or for instance, our theme was once “90’s” music but because of the Fiona Apple song I picked, my story became titled, “In My Defense” and the goal was to plead with a lawyer to take my case. (Think about the stories being told during those So You Can Dance Episodes. I always need a story!)

This week, we’ve been given a new theme!



Our note stated the following, “Push the limits of your teasing body conversation as a Rebelliously Sexy woman. The assignment is inspired by the Naughty Provocateur Erotic Creature Icon: She’s a badass babe and a known trouble maker, disturbing the peace as she struts her insanely sexy energy into the studio in a whirlwind of chaos. She loves causing a mess, especially if someone else has to clean it up. She knows damn well what she’s doing and she loves it. You see, it’s the attention she craves, although she’ll pretend she doesn’t. To challenge boundaries with shameless, guilt-free defiance, oh, what a thrill it is to be bad. Yes, this magnetic creature is happily disobedient and a quintessential tease, sticking her tongue out as she messes up the pillows on the bench just because she can. Yes, don’t fooled…No matter how tough she seems, shes’s vulnerable and emotional at her core, dancing effortlessly between dark and light. Whatever oyu decide to war, let it be as messy as your movement – perhaps ripped sotckings, a tattered miniskirt, loose pigtails, and mismatched bra and panties. Stomp and misbehave to songs like Problem by Natalia Kills, Misbehave by D. Tropp, bad Girls by M.I.A. and First Name Trouble by Witchman. On the pole, tip the Eart off its axis with the sumptuos Spinning Snake , or save the world with the heroic Superwoman.”

There’s one problem. That’s already elements of both my erotic creatures! Oh, in case you don’t know, your erotic creature is the embodiment of your sensual, sexual, erotic and emotional self set to motion. You know how sometimes when provoked during sex, for instance, your vixen comes out or your sex kitten? You know how when Beyonce performs, she takes on a whole other persona, ‘Sasha Fierce’? Well in our studio we call that your “Erotic Creature.” Now, its not “some other version of you.” It is all you! We just name this particular part. So…about the nature of my E.C…

What If I Had to Resist My Own Desires – S Factor, Level 6

In “The Rage of Isis” during a “rage assignment,” I wrote, “ISIS, which is one of my inner sirens, i.e., erotic creatures can be categorized as aggressive, assertive, evil, sadistic, mean, angry but alluring and sensual. She is a Siren. She will seduce you. You will love her. Your eyes won’t leave her. But she’s probably luring you to your death. She likes whips, crops, spikes, chains, restraints, ropes and the thought of choking the person she’s giving a lap dance to. She’ll move her hips over your body and maybe even lick you lovingly but she probably wants to slap you too. ISIS is a dominatrix. She’s a beast. A monster. She takes no prisoners and she wants to punish you just because you’re breathing. She’s egotistical, selfish, self centered and knows the world revolves around her. She’s unforgiving, pushy and an absolute joy for me to explore in my dance class. I don’t judge her. She is who she is. She makes no apologies, gives no prefaces and the suffering she dishes out never ends. She is a descendant of Medusa, Pandora and every wicked witch of the west. I think the only redeeming factor about her is that the death she gives you will metaphorically be beautiful. She’s fierce, scary and a complete asshole and unless you’re in my S Factor class, you will probably NEVER see her. Trust me, I don’t let her out. Not even in my other pole dancing classes.”

My other Erotic Creature is called “SLY”. In “Authentic Expression – Sheena, SLY, ISIS,” I wrote, “SLY is an absolute flirt. She’s a tease. She likes summer dresses, licking popsicle innocently knowing the notions and she likes to play, among many other things. She’s feisty, fun and everyone wants to be her friend.”

Here’s ISIS the Siren’s pinterest board and SLY the Siren’s pinterest board for even more reference.

And when I channel, “Sheena” which is a blend of both erotic creatures she’s a rebel, strong, powerful and commanding yet she’s giving, offering and open and a flirt, tease and playful while dwelling in her vulnerability and emotionality.

So basically, this week’s assignment is asking me to be myself. But I wondered, how could I go even more extreme or take the assignment in a different direction. What would be the rebel version of being a rebel? I mean, I love a good mind fuck! So why not take this somewhere else entirely?

What If I Had to Resist My Own Desires – S Factor, Level 6

So you know, being Sheena LaShay…the real person, I looked up the definition of REBEL. Here are some relevant points…

  • A person who refuses allegiance to, resists, or rises in arms against the government or ruler of his or her own country.

Ugh. So ISIS/SLY/SHEENA the SIREN is the ruler of her own country. What would it mean to refuse allegiance to myself?

  • a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition.

Yeah, sometimes I have issues with control. What controls my Sirens aka Erotic Creatures. My desires and emotions are what control me in class. What if I had to resist my own desires and emotions?

  • rebellious; defiant.

What would it mean to defy myself?

My teacher, Ilov Grate, gave me even more ideas.

Idea one is to rebel against my known self. Refuse allegiance to myself. Resist my own desires and emotions. Defy myself. Sounds like maybe me dancing as a “people pleaser” or something.

Idea two, as given by my teacher is to go the opposite of ISIS. Since she is a trouble making, bad ass….perhaps I should behave. Like what the fuck would it look like for me to dance in a behaving manner. Ilov in giving me ideas said, “I’m gonna be a good girl today because you want me to be an asshole.” What would it be like to dance that out?

Idea three is to push to another rebel side of ISIS. In the BDSM community, I am a Switch. Sometimes I go between being a Submissive and a Dominatrix. And when my submissive nature is provoked…she turns into a BRAT! I think, another way to dance this out is to be the Sexy Brat version of myself. But again, what the fuck does that look like. In real life, I hate when I become this way. She’s annoying as all fuck but she falls into this energy and once you go down the path of being a brat, you gotta be committed to the total defiance…well until a Dom gets you back in line.

Anywho…those are the three ideas…defy myself and become a people please, become the good girl since you like when I’m the asshole Dominatrix, or show you the most annoying side of my personality…Sheena the Brat. And whichever version I pick, what is the actual story.

If I defy myself, maybe its because I’m so desperate for love, I’d do anything to keep a man. (That would be in total defiance of myself.) Maybe by being the good girl the story is that I’m sick of hearing shit from people about my “aggressive, forward and direct side” that I’ll show them what it means if I quiet myself and behave. And maybe the story of the Brat is she didn’t get what the fuck she wanted and she is now throwing the biggest, most annoying temper known to man.

What do you think?

Also, I almost titled this blog post, “The Bad Girl’s Guide to Being a Good Girl” but it took on a whole other direction. However, perhaps that is the story of my dance if I go with the “Good Girl” motif.

Also for each of those stories, what clothes do I wear and what music goes with each one? These are my biggest problems of the day. Help! I want your opinions.

What If I Had to Resist My Own Desires – S Factor, Level 6

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Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Intellectual Sensual Shaman and Cultural Provocateur. Keeping it simple, you could say she's a Writer and an Erotic Artist.

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