I can NOT believe I forgot to publish this one too! Back in October 2011, my baby sister turned 7 years old. I wrote this letter for her then and I completely forgot to share it with the world. My god, I’m slacking! Here is my letter to my little sister.

Dasia LaShay! Dear sweet, lovely girl, how lucky am I that you graced the world with your presence. You may not understand the power of your existence right now and the affects it has on the world, but I can testify that you were one of my saving graces. Maybe when you’re older I can really tell you the story of how your birth restored  my faith in family, how in some of my darkest hours during my senior year what kept me alive was knowing there was an infant at home and how from the moment I held you, I knew had to keep trying. I knew I needed to keep being the best version of me because there was another precious being that was going to look up to me, whether I wanted that responsibility or not.

I would have never thought that at the age of 20, I would have another sister. Most of the friends and associates I knew at 20 were marrying each other and beginning their families and here was I, welcoming another sister into the world. We were born 20 years apart and we are sisters and I think there is something magical about that. I really do. You are magic Dasia. You are light and joy and sweetness and happiness and my heart is so full.

Do you see that picture to the left? Dasia, you were 1 day old. That is the first time I held you ever!!! Dasia, I can’t even describe how I felt. You were and are perfect. The sun was shining. Our entire family was in the room and my friend took that picture the moment I laid my eyes on you. That moment is one of my favorite moments in life. I distinctly remember the first time I held you and the rest of our sisters and our brother and I love those moments. They are among my most precious memories.

And that’s what I want you to know. Its 7 years later and you are the precious part of my life.  You are what I hold dear. You are love and magic and quiet stillness and exuberant joy. You are what I want to protect and honor. You are the best thing ever.

Do you see the picture to your right? 7  months after your birth, you started taking your first steps ever Dasia. They were wobbly and misplaced and you needed a lot of guidance and strength to help you, but you were ready. You were ready to try. I admire that about you. You are always up for an adventure. You are curious. And no matter your size or age or where you are, you want to try and explore and play and discover. You were that way at 7 months old and you are still that way now. I think its an amazing trait in your personality and I hope that you stay that way forever. I hope that no matter how old you become or where ever you are, they you always seek adventure and explore the world. And even if people say no or tell you you’re too young, I hope that you are never discouraged. I hope that if you get an idea or an inkling or desire, that instead of hesitating or wondering what if, I hope you always take that first step and try.

Here’s another picture that I like Dasia. You see the one to your left. You were 17 months old. You were at a park but something caught your attention and you were deep in thought. You were very focused and intent upon something. I love that about you. I love your focus. I love your mind. I love your thoughts and what captures your attention. You are such an incredible girl. You have always been and you will always be. My god, how precious you are!

Dasia, I miss you more than ever. I wish distance wasn’t a factor. I always want to be around you. I love when I come home to visit and when you see me, you run as if your life depends on it with your arms open wide and you scream my name and jump into my arms. “SHEENA!!!!!” you scream. Then you kiss and hug me and you show me what you worked on at school and you show me your new toys and you play with my camera and ask me lots of questions and you wonder if this time I’ll stay home forever. Dasia, you delight me so much. You are an incredible little girl. And every day you grow more and more. Every day your mind expands and your questions get even more astonishing. I look forward to all that you will become and I’m so proud of who you are now. I hope you ALWAYS know that you are the BEST GIRL in the world. You’re the sweetest Dasia LaShay that I’ve ever encountered. You’re so intelligent, joyful and sweet. I am so glad that you are here today. You teach me so much and I look forward to hearing your voice again and feeling your hug again. You give the best hugs in the entire galaxy. I hope you know that. I hope for a magical existence for you Dasia. I hope for stability and protection. I hope for adventure and discovery.

I LOVE YOU. I CHERISH YOU.

 DASIA MUSINGS

Happy 6th Birthday Dasia – I just love that her default to life isn’t fear. It’s bravery and inquisitiveness and wonder.

Dasia Anecdotes – My little sister is a firecracker!

The People Pound – Dasia: (runs in from the living room) Mom, who buys the people in the pound?

Spilling Milk, a poem dedicated to Dasia – You will never have to apologize for spilling milk…..

A is for Effort – She thinks letters are all called A.

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(Originally written a little while ago. I just forgot to hit publish. My apologies to my sister!)

On December 26, 2011, my dear, fabulous sister turned 13 years old.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNA.

Hanna, the fact that you are thirteen years old is phenomenal to me. The concept of time, age and the way life progresses astounds me. First, I need to say that I love you. You are so precious and dear to me. I think you are incredible, so beautiful and the best Hanna LaShay in the entire galaxy! I think you are so ferocious, creative and you simply make me so happy. I am truly blessed to have such incredible siblings and I do not take you for granted.

Hanna, I wanted to write you a letter. I hope that at any point when you need to reference it for advice, encouragement or love, you know that its here. You should also know that if you need me to, I’ll call you and sing your praises any time you want.

These are thing things I need to say to my thirteen year old sister.

1. I want you to always feel free to express yourself to me. I think self expression is so important. If we keep our desires, our dreams or even our fears inside, they will be contained. They will be hidden and dark. They will collect dust and become weak and they will eat us inside out. But if we breathe life into our self expression, when we share our view with the world, it has the ability to set us free and make things better. So please, always feel free to express yourself. Maybe everyone won’t be receptive to what you have to say but please know that you can share ANY part of yourself with me. I love you unconditionally, without reason and ALWAYS.

2. BOYS. Hmmmm. Boys come and ago. There are millions of them. They will drive you wild and crazy. They are so handsome and attractive. They will give you gifts and say beautiful things. Then some may break your heart, refuse to let you in and hurt you. Boys are boys. Don’t give them your life force Hanna. Enjoy your childhood. Enjoy your sensations of your heart but selfishly live your life for yourself and not to impress a boy. Because that boy is not going to give you a singing contract. That BOY is not going to give you an A on your math test. That BOY is not going to make your dreams come true. So don’t become distracted. Enjoy boys when its the time and place but don’t let it deter the plan you have set in place for yourself.

3. Friends. Friends are great. They are. You can be a side of yourself with your friends that you can’t in many settings. In school you have to behave and make good grades. At home, you have to behave and be a good daughter. In public, you have to behave and say the right things. There are all these rules to figuring it all out. But with your friends, if they are TRUE friends, you can let it all hang out. You can be silly, weird, funny, angry, happy and however else you want. Friendships are great. But just as with the boys, don’t let friendships ever deter your goal. Don’t be so consumed with other people that you forget yourself. So enjoy your friends, choose them carefully but  don’t let your friends be a detriment of what’s ultimately important.

4. Family. Even when it may not seem like it, family is valuable. It simply is. Family is probably the reason I haven’t gone certified crazy. Because at the end of the day, I know I have a family and I want you to be proud of me. I want you to love me and I want to love you. So at the end of the day, family is so important. And its important than even when navigating through difficult waters that you don’t burn bridges, crush your little sister’s heart, speak ill will of your brother or disrespect your mother. No matter how angry or how mad or how sad you are or disappointed you may be in one family member, at your age right now, its important that you remember the value of family. Because there will be days when none of your friends are around and a boy broke your heart and you didn’t get the job and someone said something mean, but its great to know at the end of the day you can call home and someone will always have a kind word to say or will hug you. Most people are going to love you with conditions and rules and with strings attached and with expectations. Its a given to life. But for the most part, your family will love you eternally without reason and its important that you never forget that.

5. Education. Don’t screw around with your education Hanna. Your mind, your intellect & knowledge is what will set you free, set you apart and open up opportunities. Its important that you explore, learn and try new things. Whether its formally through the traditional way that children learn and also through your own expression. Never stop discovering the world in which we live. Ask questions. Figure things out. Try looking at the same object but in a completely different way. Learn something new each day. Learn from others’ mistakes so you don’t have to waste your time. Read as many books as you can get your hands on. Learn new words. Learn new ways to improve your voice. Learn as much as you can about fashion and art and performing. Become the expert of your every passion. It will truly set you apart!

6. Your body. HANNA, I will say this because I know you need to hear it and it will make you feel better. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! But aside from beauty, Hanna you are healthy. You are physically strong. Your skin is smooth and free of blemish. Your hair is curly. Your eyes are a gorgeous shade of brown. Your legs are so tall. Your body is as it should be. Its exactly how it should look. There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with you. Someone will always be skinner than you. Someone will always be fatter than you. Someone will always be shorter, taller, have longer and shorter hair too. Someone will have lighter and darker skin. Someone will have bigger breasts, smaller ears. Its how its suppose to be. We are all individuals. There is no standard of beauty. The point is to embrace the wonder that is you. You were divinely created to be just as you are right now!!!!! Don’t waste your time comparing yourself to others or trying to be like someone else. All I want is Hanna LaShay. I want exactly who you are. Every bit of you. Because that is what makes you special. The only way to be special and unique is to be completely yourself. Don’t clone yourself after anyone else. Its simply not worth it.

7. Dark mentalities. Hanna, I’m pretty sure you’re similar to me in your mental demeanor. We can be a bit pessimistic and immediately go to the dark side. I don’t know what it is. Some would say its a chemical imbalancement. Some might say we need to grow up and be more mature. Some may say we need to take medicine or pray more. I don’t know. What I will say is I let those dark voices talk to me longer than they should have.  And it never served me. I remember having days where I’d miss a bus to work and I’d be so upset my thought would be, “I want to die” ad I really meant it. Everything wrong with the world and wrong in my life made me want to just give up. Sometimes I just got so exhausted from having to try. I wanted things to go my way. Its my life, right? So why shouldn’t it go my way. But Hanna, listen dear, its on us to change those shitty thoughts.  They don’t serve us. We have too much good in our life, too much passion and spark to live in the darkness. It is a bit immature. Its a bit selfish and glass half empty. Perhaps its a defect. I don’t know. I don’t particularly care. What I care about is empowering YOU to know that YOU are in control. You are in control of your thoughts and your life. You can either let things get you down when they don’t go your way or you can find another way. Now when I miss a bus, I realize that opened up many other possibilities that I didn’t know existed before. You can change your mind Hanna. I would implore you to be powerful and use your power to be AWESOME instead.

8. Hanna, I love you. I look forward to every moment in your life. Every experience, triumph and wonderful day. I am always here for you. I will always support you and love you. You are mighty. You are great and powerful. You are a force. You are unique, wonderful and you hold the power to your future. I am always here for you. You know I will break the world in half for your well-being. I’d do it, even if it wasn’t right. That’s because my love for you as my sister and as a precious being transcends all social norms. You are important to me and I want to do everything within my power to make sure you know and understand how great you are! I am on team Hanna! I am your biggest fan. I am proud of you.

And I also want you to know, that even on your crappy days, when you mess up or when you’re being mean or you’re just anger…that even those parts of you I love. I see you completely and wholly and I LOVE YOU! But what I want more than you understanding my love for you is for you to love yourself. I hope you are proud of yourself. I hope that you see yourself as divine and precious. I hope that when you think of yourself and your place in the world, that you know you are the BEST THING EVER!!!!

VIDEO - Happy 12th Birthday Hanna!

BLOG – Happy 12th Birthday Hanna

BLOG – An Open Letter to My Heart

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