In November, my dear friend Kevin celebrated his birthday. I must write this note to him. It is long over due.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!

I’ve known Kevin for MOST of my life. By most I mean at the very least for 20 years! I can’t say that for most people. I think that, in and of itself is something phenomenal about us. A 20 year friendship that has grown, evolved, changed and progressed from when I was a child to the woman I am today. Kevin has been a rock for me. An encourager. A mentor. A friend. A shoulder to cry on. A teacher. An adviser. I’ve told things to Kevin I haven’t the guts to share with anyone else. Kevin has truly seen me at my worse. What I love about him is that during those times his response has been, “Get over yourself!” He knows which buttons of mine to push with the right amount of pressure so that I get the point and that is an artistic ability that not everyone possesses. He is patient with me. Gentle yet firm. He is kind yet honest. He’s really the perfect kind of friend.

I know. I know that I rave about my friends when they have their birthdays and I make them sound like the best thing on earth but I mean every word. And I know things change and not everyone has their shit together and people mess up and hurt you and even my friends who I elevate to gods and goddess have their issues too. Trust me, I’m not wearing rose colored glasses but I’m also fully aware of their dignity, honor and holiness and it is something so grand to me that writing these letters is essential.

So back to Kevin, who means so much to me. First, let me tell you about Kevin. Kevin is a writer. In fact, he is one of my favorite writers. I’m sure you know the worth I put into books, characters and stories. At any moment I could be reading five to ten books at a time. Currently I’m reading eight. Books mean the world to me. Authors are gods. They are the best people on the planet. Their minds should be insured for one billion dollars. And Kevin, he is my favorite. We may have an incredible friendship but I am the BIGGEST fan of his scripts. I quote them. I forget that the characters are not real. I reference them like they are friends of mine until I remember it was simply one of his stories. His stories haunt me. I dream about them. I fantasize about them. I want to be in them. And he lets me read them all! I get that priviledge and its crazy. Not only that, he lets my critique them. He takes my feedback and works with it, listens to it and sometimes he even uses those suggestions. That’s incredible to me. I hope you have the priveledge one day of reading one of his many works. They will blow your mind away.

While I’ve known Kevin for 20 years, our friendship really took off during my college years. During that time we were communicating often about life, art, family and any and everything. What I appreciate about that time then and our friendship right now is that I do not have to use filters around Kevin. My thoughts do not disturb him. They don’t appall him. I can’t say that about everyone. Not even all my friends are like that. Which is fine. I understand. But Kevin is different than that. I can be any articulation of myself no matter what and somehow he finds beauty in it. Its quite phenomenal to me. I suppose its the essence of pure love, of which our friendship is comprised of.

I want to share some of our exchanges. Just bits and pieces.

I once gave Kevin a script of mine to read. After ripping bits of it to shreds while still liking the premise, I love that he wrote….

You probably think I’m hard on you. Maybe I am. I’m tapping into the genius in you now, because I know its there. The idea itself is exceptional. The writing, therefore, must be as well to make it an exceptional piece of work….not good…exceptional. ~ Kevin

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After updating my resume soon after my my college graduation, Kevin wrote the following to me….

I saw your resume. It encompassed all you’ve been doing in the past years and made me realize how proud I am of you. I love you very much and keep pushing for excellence. Your future is bright but with a positive mind and life, you will be a light for those coming behind you. Keep shining. I see you, my dear, and its lovely! ~ Kevin

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This note is one of my favorites from Kevin.

 Haven’t sat and talked to you in a while. I missed our conversations…tea…lattes…etc. til 3 in the morning or in the middle of the day, engaging conversation with you in a room full of people, and we’re the only ones there.

how’s the artist in you? are you nuturing my gifted artist, so bright and overflowing with ideas and creativity, the one who sees the world as her canvas, and dares to paint her own pictures…in spite of what others think. how’s the girl in you? you know, the fragile one that has to be handled with caution and tlc, the one who cries when no one else sees, and sometimes doesn’t care who sees. she just needs to be held. how is she? tell her i love her very much, and i’m always here. how’s the woman in you? the one about the business, the goal setter, the academic scholar, the wise, the great dancer how is my sheena? ~ Kevin

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I love Kevin. I am so glad and honored to call him my friend.  I enjoy the dynamic between us. His mind blows me away and he’s just a lot of fun to be around. The conversations are ALWAYS guranteed to be lively. Kevin rocks my world.

Kevin, you know how much you mean to me! Thank you for being you, for sharing yourself and always pushing me. I appreciate it all!

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A few days ago, my dear, lovely, brave, funny, awesome, globe trotting friend Henry celebrated his birthday. I am incredible lucky to know him and call him my friend!!!! You may know him as Hank or Hanksterchen but when I really need to talk to my friend, when I really need support and love, he is simply HENRY to me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANK!!!!

I met Hank back in 2002 at Wheaton College. I’ve met most of my close friends via Wheaton College. That’s one great thing I can take away from my time there. Despite the fact that I met Hank at Wheaton, I didn’t get to know the real him until I moved to New York, happened upon his “It Gets Better” video and reached out to him about how awesome and courageous he was.

From then on out its been one party after another, one Vietnamese meal after another,  and one heart to heart talk after another. Hank and I have collaborated on over 7 videos with more to come, we’ve been to Boston two times together, we’ve work on OneWheaton together and we’ve laughed ONE BILLION times.

My friendship with Hank is fun. He’s incredible sweet, giving and artistic. He teaches me about how to edit videos, how to be more compassionate and how to be a better person.

I love Hank because he pushes and challenges me. He constantly strives for excellence & innovation & growth in his craft as an artist and it inspires me to do the same. Hank lives an empowered life. He travels the world. He goes after every opportunity, all the while keeping a level hand, including others and remaining vulnerable, transparent yet strong.

Even as I type this I’m remembering when I joined Hank and some of his friends to support him as he got his first tattoo. Did you see that video? It’s awesome. Or the video of Hank, Denis and I walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. Did you see that one? Its awesome too. Hank makes life and any situation fun. He always has a smile on his face…even if its because he just shared a completely inappropriate joke. I like those jokes though.

Hank is awesome. Hank is awesome. Hank is so completely, utterly awesome!!!!

He’s a great friend to have and I hope you have someone like this in your life. These are some of the reasons I love Hank. He is an incredible listener. He tells a great story & has an amazing charisma & charm that would captivate anyone. He has a strong sense of self. He’s creative, artistic and well read. He’s simply an incredible man. Can I say, I also love him because he uses my natural hair butters on his hair! Those products are mainly used by black women on super curly hair and yet Hank uses them and he happens to be a man with Asian straight hair. This makes me smile.

I just love my friend Hank. I love him for no reason at all. You could take all those traits away…his creativity or his jokes and I’d still want to be around him. This is because his energy, his aura and his spirit are welcoming, encouraging and so full of godly matter. Hank makes my life better.

He sees me as I am, at my worse, at my best and in between and no matter, he remains honest with me and loves me and what more could I ask for that for someone to really SEE ME and still choose to LOVE ME.

Hankdgoes that for me and I for him.

Happy Birthday Henry. We have had an incredible journey together and I look forward to every single adventure yet to come. I celebrate you, my friend. I hope your every desire, dream and want comes true.

(Did I mention Hank was on Law & Order: SVU and Blue Bloods among many other things. Yay…he’s one of those real actors. Hehehe!)

SELECTED VIDEOS YOU SHOULD WATCH that feature HANKSTERCHEN

Hanksterchen Gets a Tattoo

Brooklyn Bridge Adventure with Hanksterchen & Denactor

Hanksterchen & SLY Hang Out

Whipped Butter & Hair Butter with Hanksterchen

Splooge in My Hair

Water For Elephants & Artist

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