It only took a few weeks of pole dancing and sensual movement for me to see a clear path of growth within myself. My body and core grew stronger. I was becoming fit and healthy. What I didn’t plan on was for the growth to affect my mind, body and soul. I became more confident. I became more comfortable expressing myself through dance and through my voice. I found myself having uninhibited conversations with men that I was too shy and ashamed to have before. My movement became stronger and my mind did too. Paradigms I held before regarding sexuality, the way we relate to one another and the ways in which we are capable of healing evolved. I found myself becoming bolder, livelier, expressive, and courageous. I took risks in my movement and in my life. The risks I took in my life though related mostly to men, dating, relationships and self expression.
The part of me that comes out in my dance classes is what I call my inner siren. It’s the no holds barred, erotic, vivacious vixen that commands the room with one glance, one hair flip or body roll. She is all-powerful balancing strength with grace as well as intuitive moment with clarified focus & execution. This siren in me reveals herself when I dance, when I speak and most definitely when I relate to men.
While this moving exploration has been great, I’ve often wondered how I can incorporate this vixen in me into more of my every day life? What are the practical ways my siren can reveal herself at home, at school, at work or anywhere else? I’m not saying how can I do a striptease as I cook dinner, although that would be hot. I’m wondering how can I channel the power and unabashed courage that emerges when I dance into all the facets of my life. It may have taken sensual movement to help that part of me emerge from repression but now I want the scope of that expression and energy to reach everywhere.
These are my beginning musings on bringing your/my vixen to the boardroom or wherever you want.
1. EXPRESS YOURSELF – Just as you express your emotions and your desires through movement, a key part of being a dynamic business minded person is expressing yourself in the workplace too. Silence is deadly…for your career unless you’re a mime. Express your thoughts, your desires and your ideas. Say them out loud. Show them to your colleagues. Show the full scope of your expressions. The only way to become a more articulated person with a dynamic vision is to practice the art of using your voice and all your other manners of expressive communication. In your next meeting, express your corporate/entrepreneurial/business mind with your team!
2. BOLD AT HEART – The business leaders who have shaped the world and influenced society in the most unforgettable ways have made waves. They are bold and take calculated risks. They mess up, are sometimes rejected and sometimes their ideas don’t pan out but they keep trying. Just as your movement and gestures become your bolder, allow your corporate vision to do the same. Execute the ideas swimming in your head. Go against the grain. Invent a new grain. Do something!
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3. COURAGE OF YOUR CONVICTIONS – While woman now have the “right” to be in the workplace and the ability to achieve their goals, there is still a disconnect and unevenness in the boardrooms. There is still progress to be made. One of the ways this can only happen is if you muster a bit of courage. It goes hand in hand with being bold. Courage is tied to conviction too though. It’s speaking up for yourself, for others, for morality, for legality and whatever may be at stake. It’s not allowing yourself to be belittle. Its rejecting the notion to be small. When you dance, it takes courage. You’re showing yourself. You’re telling a story. You’re revealing an inner truth. You’re expressing a sentiment. Shouldn’t that same courage have a place in the workplace too?
4. REVEAL YOURSELF – One of the most captivating things about a pole dancer or a woman in tuned with her sensuality is the ability to reveal her vulnerability. Some people attribute vulnerability to weakness but it couldn’t be further from the truth. When you watch a classmate perform a beautiful, transparent and vulnerable dance do you think, “Look at how weak she is?” No. I usually think, “It takes so much self-awareness to be able to show that part of herself. I love how strong she is even in what she reveals.” I personally think the same principle can be applied to our corporate lives. I, for one, want to interact with businesses that represent an experience, a story and a person. I’d much rather see the face of vulnerability which usually comes cupped with honesty, realness and presence than a stoic robotic approach to business and relationships. So take the risk and actually show who you are in your corporate life. Show a bit of your story, captivate your audience, your team, your boss or your reports by showing how you are a human BEING and not just a human DOING.
5. POWER PLAY – Don’t cower from your power. It is yours for the taking. It is your birthright like every other human being. Just as it takes muscle, grit and power to execute challenging dance moves, it also takes muscle, grit and power to execute business moves as well. And it is ok for a woman to live in her power. We’ve seen it in the dance room. We’ve got to make peace with it being ok in the boardroom too. Know your power. Live your power. Don’t cower under intimidation. Don’t cower because you’re the only one. Don’t make yourself small to appear more “ladylike” or appropriate. Live in your power when you dance and when you make that next deal!
6. RUTHLESS GRACE – Most of the dancers that I love and admire have a sense of gracefulness that simply wow’s me. Its intentional. Its focused. It’s direct and soul stirring. I think we can bring grace to the boardroom too. Yes we can be bold, powerful and courageous but we don’t want to use that energy to become monsters of domination. Haven’t we experienced that for far too long? We need to add in grace…but ruthless grace. Business-minded, sustaining grace. Intentional gracefulness.
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7. FLEXIBILE LEGS & MINDS – Just as we try different approaches and experiment with our clothes, shoes, music and movement, the same principle could apply to the boardroom. Experiment at work. Try new ideas. Approach that reoccurring challenge with a new perspective. Is there a way to get create with the budget? How can you use fluid, open mindedness to approach the next company event? Even if that particular approach didn’t work, it may be a through line to a major break through. How many times did you uncover a great epiphany in your movement when you made the leap to try something different. Can this be applied to the boardroom?
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8. ENERGY & FOCUS - Aside from the characteristics that reveal themself when you dance such as courage, power, and self expression, what about the overall energy that emerges? You know that buzzed feeling of fearlessness, brazenness and euphoria that you hit during and after class. That same energy that makes you want to go make love, write a sonnet or skinny dip in the ocean. What are the possibilities of using that specific energy in the boardroom? Can it inspire or fuel your next project? Can it draw in like-minded individuals that can respond and commune with that on a business level? Hmmm, I wonder.
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Listen, I’m not saying hair flip your way to a raise or body roll your way into a new business deal. That approach might work for some but it does raise the question of ethics, integrity, morality and honor. What I am saying though is that the energy channeled in class and the creature that emerges when you dance, can exist in the real world too in calculated doses. Your vixen can be full-bodied. She doesn’t have to only come alive when twirling around the pole. I’m just trying to figure out the practicalities. What do you think?
SLY: Yea, its the alcoholic’s prayer.
